Please review this copy for a potential client as I don't think it's quite as good as I am capable of. I might be wrong tho lol. I'll review yours too. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dcGs8GtGMjoYxEZq1mw0Ye2_mwI72JWPEPbV6n8eXjU/edit?tab=t.3w5o5c4jqp95
@Motasim Tirmizi With an interesting subject line and preview, which effectively grabs attention and encourages the reader to continue fulfilling the purpose of drawing the reader in from the start. It straightforwardly presents information about protein intake, aiming to simplify a potentially complex topic by focusing on actionable advice. However, the copy lacks a strong personal narrative or story, which could have made the message more memorable and relatable. Incorporating an anecdote or personal experience could create a lasting imprint on the reader. Additionally, the copy does not share any personal details about the author or any self-deprecating humour, which could help to humanize the text and make it more engaging. The message is presented with confidence and certainty, clearly stating the author's stance and avoiding any ambiguity. This clarity can be appealing to readers, helping to establish authority on the topic. Moreover, the copy clearly outlines the issue and provides a solution, delivering value by offering practical advice and a call to action with limited availability, creating urgency. While the copy addresses the reader's potential mistakes or misconceptions, it could benefit from further addressing fears, dreams, or common enemies, which can deepen engagement by resonating with the reader's emotions and experiences. The copy also lacks elements that would fascinate the reader about the author, such as achievements or unique insights that set the author apart from others. Overall, the copy is informative but could be enhanced with more storytelling elements and personal touches to create a stronger connection with the reader and a lasting impression. The fundamental message is clear and actionable, but the addition of personal depth and a distinct story could elevate its impact. Score: 6/10
@Motasim Tirmizi strong and intriguing headline, which effectively draws the reader's attention and encourages them to continue reading. This is well executed. The email directly addresses the reader by name, which helps to establish a personal connection and emphasizes care towards the individual. The message is clear and provides value by revealing a common mistake many power lifters make, offering a strategy to overcome it, and encouraging smarter training practices. However, the copy briefly mentions Mark Felix without explaining who he is, which might leave some readers confused if they're unfamiliar with him. The copy lacks a personal narrative or specific anecdotes that could form a stronger emotional connection or create a lasting impression. While it takes a clear stance on why lifting light can lead to significant gains, it misses the opportunity to share a personal story or the transformation of an individual who applied this strategy with success. There is a degree of certainty in the advice given, presenting a clear and confident direction for the reader to follow. Yet, it doesn't fully exploit storytelling techniques that transform the information into a memorable experience. The call to action is present but could be more engaging, ensuring readers are motivated to explore the strength program in the link provided. Overall, the copy is valuable and has a strong message, but it would benefit from more storytelling elements and personal insights to truly captivate and resonate with the reader. Score: 6/10
The copy begins with a bold statement, which may grab attention, but it lacks clarity and specificity in its initial hook. This might confuse readers initially rather than entice them to read further. There is an attempt to share personal achievement, presenting the author as someone who has succeeded financially, which could be alluring. However, the narrative lacks depth in personal storytelling there are no specific anecdotes or experiences that create a strong connection through relatable or vivid details. The message does convey certainty, promising a transformed financial state if the reader follows the blueprint, aligning with a strong stance on the subject. However, the writing fails to provide a clear enemy or adversary, which would engage readers emotionally and vividly. The copy addresses potential fears and failures of the audience, like poor investment strategies, which could resonate with them. The practical advice on shifting focus and microinvesting gives some value, but the instructions remain vague and could be further simplified for clearer understanding. By focusing heavily on the blueprint offer, the text almost reduces itself to a sales pitch, which might feel insincere or mechanical to readers, lessening the feeling of care and empathy. The offer of additional resources like the trades journal attempts to add value but is not couched in a memorable or engaging story. The storytelling lacks crucial narrative elements, like a clear transition from one adversarial situation to a place of victory, or storytelling categories that could inspire or demonstrate personal growth. Overall, the copy lacks strong narrative detail and specificity, which affects its potential memorability and emotional impact. It needs a stronger, more personalised story and a more structured narrative to resonate deeply with the audience. Score: 5/10