Hi Ellen, beautiful message thank you. This is a good question and I can only say what I would like to hear from Jamie. If Jamie would say something like, "If your goal is for me to look at you and feel sexual desire, respect, honor, etc, I need you to lose weight and get strong." It would be my job to feel my shame, disappointment, anger, etc. From this rock bottom place I can feel what really needs to be felt for me to transform. I would also like Jamie to tell me that she really saw me showing up and that she knows I can do it and that I have free choice. For me, I stayed chubby for a long time because I was afraid to fully step into my power. I also needed food to numb my experience of life. Fasting was an essential part for me to really feel the discomfort of life and the need to numb. @Ellen Wilson