I am going into a conference this week. I have fears. I know that part of it is I like to be liked. I have been in this industry for a long time and Shaun 1.0 was arrogant and ultimately insecure. I am afraid to share my faith at times and a lot of this industry is quick to cancel. I want to have no fear of what the good Lord has helped me through and forgiven me for. Still insecure up until now. Pray for courage and pray that I see the opportunities that God has for me.

I used to want my wife and kids to feel no pain. If they did feel pain I wanted to snatch them out of it. Then, through therapy, coaching, podcasts, and reading, I learned that it is in those times when life knocks me off my feet, that is where I grew the most. With my kids, and my daughter especially, I started asking, “do you want me to fix this or feel this.” I have actually stopped asking the question now because if I want to be connected to them, I feel it with them. I actually don’t ever fix it anymore. If they ask for me to “fix” it then I show them a few options as to how to face it. Then we discuss as they choose the path they want to go down and I cheer them on as if it is the best choice. If it doesn’t work, we sit in the ditch together and then they try another path as I cheer them on and stay connected to them. I still don’t like seeing them suffer but it is beautiful to get to be in it with them.

This is a wild time to be alive. We have access to so much information, tools, and resources. I find myself finding my identity in the things that I do. I am a husband, christian, father, brother, son, entrepreneur, millionaire, home owner, gym rat, tennis player, and the list goes on. These are the things this I do but it barely scratches the surface on who I am. Years ago my wife introduced me to the idea of creating a to do list (nothing new) and pairing it with a to be list. This has been a game changer for me. I write my to dos for the day and next to them I write who I want to be in each one of those tasks. For example: to do; meet with sales team about new leads to be; energetic, open, leader, patient, and kind. On a good day I will write a to be that I am working on like empathetic and then I am more prone to looking for areas of my life, throughout the day, that I can be more empathetic. I am a human being, not a human doing. This has helped me with feeling like I have to prove myself and become more of who God made me to Be.

I have had the privilege of going to the gym with each one of my kids (now 24, 21, and 16 years old). I am so grateful to have had so much time with them that so many parents don't get. Even when I visit my married daughter we don't say "are we going to lift?" it is "when are we going to lift?" My youngest is now a sophomore and his gym journey started at the beginning of this school year. The kid has shown up and put in the work. He weighs 150lbs and hit a pr 1rm last week on Bench Press of 235lbs. Some days are easier than others getting out the door. We go before school most of the time so during winter this comes at the wee hours of dark thirty. Today I heard his alarm go off and I waited a few minutes before going in to see if he needed some encouragement. He said that he slept terribly and I was also on the struggle bus. I gave in and went back to bed for another 90 minutes. I got into work and had that defeated feeling. I mean we go to the gym 99% of the time and we just don't miss (rarely). We hit it 5-6 times a week. I shifted my perspective to grace. I was struggling because I fall into the trap of not feeling worthy or worth it. So I pack in those measurable things like lifting and going to the gym X times a week. I am grateful for grace and I am learning to give it to myself. Today is a full day of work and then family dinner and then worship night at church. No time to get to the gym and that is ok. I will get back to it tomorrow. God teach heal me and teach me to love me more so I can love others well.

“Why does someone else’s success quietly bother me?”… Most men don’t realize when comparison starts. It doesn’t arrive as jealousy in the beginning. It shows up as a distraction. You notice what someone else is building. How fast they’re moving. How visible they are. Their “followers” and influence.. Without meaning to, your attention leaves your own life and focuses on theirs. That’s where the damage happens. Comparison doesn’t usually make you quit or cause you to act urgently. It makes you hesitate. You pause longer than you should or would have. You question work you were once confident and joyful in. You delay action waiting for a new clarity that never comes because it was never meant to be your focus. There’s a strange comfort in watching others live. No risk. No exposure. No responsibility. But there’s a cost. Scripture speaks to this, “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others.” 1 Peter 4:10 NIV Not someone else’s gift. Yours. Talents aren’t ranked. They’re entrusted. By God. For you, specifically. When you measure yourself against another man, you abandon stewardship. You stop tending what’s been placed in your hands and start staring at a field you were never asked to work. We’ve all heard the saying “everyone wants what they don’t have” and that is the work of the enemy. In real life it looks like this. A man gifted with stability envies momentum. A man built for depth compares himself to speed. A father with influence at home feels small next to public, material success. Nothing is wrong with your gifts. The problem is where your eyes are. Here’s the trade most men don’t see. Comparison offers: Short-term motivation A sense of urgency Something to react against But it takes: Peace Clarity Forward motion Faithfulness doesn’t usually public influence. It feels quiet, lonely, and narrow. And narrow paths don’t invite spectators. But they do require commitment and they do lead to a fulfilling life. So sit with this question today,