I’ve been standing in the eye of a hurricane and getting ready as the wall of wind is coming towards me.

Mine is not as simple, but I'm simply complicated so it tracks...There were points in my life when I would answer "I'd complain, but no one is listening" or "how you are doing?" with "Hanging in there!". Then for some people I'd go on to paint the picture of the kitten in the poster hanging from just his front claws. Adding that I just had one claw on each paw holding me up. Of course I would be do it in a funny way or strait faced, so most people would just say ok or I hear that.

I am Scott Oriane Curtis. I'm the one who built the Forge- Mostly because I needed it myself before anyone else did. Married 2 decades, Dad and Step-dad. Spent roughly 4 decades running programs I never chose until it broke me mentally, emotionally and even physically. Ignoring it and numbing myself didn't fixed it. Something in me started asking questions and just never stopped until I got answers. I'm still working on getting answers everyday, honestly. That's kinda the point of this... I have some answers, however I still have more questions. Glad you're here. Introduce yourself below- where you're from, what brought you in.

I can remember a very eye opening moment that forced me to realize that I become a tool not a person. It was a innocent moment and maybe you would have looked at differently. However, where I was in my life at that time, it had confirmed something for me. It was Christmas at my in-laws with all of the families there. It was about 10 or so adults and My sister in law had come up with some games for us adults to play to pass the time. Its was fun and I liked all the games we played. But the results of this one game didn't sit well with me at the end. So the game went like this... Each person had a post-it note for every person playing the game and they were to write something on the post it for each person playing. Like a trait they admired or something like that. It was all anonymous, there was a paper taped on the wall with each persons name on it. So you write something on the post-it, fold it and stick it on each person's page. Then each person would read it outloud to the group. You know to see what everyone thought of you. Almost last, I got to hear all the different things people wrote for each other. Things like Funny, thoughtful, confident, brave, hard worker. Then when it was my turn... They almost all said the same thing. Family man, does everything for his family, dedicated to his family... No actual personal traits to speak of. I think think even my wife did the same thing. It seemed like I was nothing outside my family. These are people that have known me for years. Some of them actual lived at my house at one time. How did they nothing else about me? After that day I started to see things differently in my daily life. What is happening in my day. I didn't like what had become of my life. Have you even heard the say... "If you are not following the plans for your life, you will follow someone else's plans".