As I've mentioned before, I Am Gerbil Woman, and some of them like my little Jimmy Choo, were extra special. Because he had been so severely neglected, and it was a bad case of cruelty to be honest, when he came to me, I literally spent every spare minute with him. If I was in the house, he was out of his tank and with me. I'd share my dinner with him, he'd pinch chips off my plate, spaghetti bolognese - whatever I was eating, he had to have. He would squeak all the time - happy squeaks, pretend scared squeaks - then he would fall asleep in my dressing gown. We were literally attached and I adored him. Because he had a stroke I knew he wouldn't live a long life, but the time we had, he had the best of everything. When he went, I was devastated, absolutely heartbroken. He's been gone 20 years now and I still miss him but I have a photo of him, with his little lopsided face because of the stroke, and remember him so fondly. He's with me in my heart and always will be. Henny McHen, give yourself time, grief is one of those things with no time limits, its not linear. You get good days and bad days and unfortunately you just have to go with it. But mostly, be kind to yourself. You said some wise words to me once "be your own best friend" - if its a bad day, treat yourself, be kind to yourself, get out in nature, touch grass, hug a tree - whatever you need to do. Xxxx