They never ask your real name. To them, you’re whatever you say you are that night—Jade, Amber, Star. Names that sparkle just enough to distract from the truth. But my real name? That belongs to a different life. A life with sunlight, family dinners, and plans that didn’t end at 3 a.m. I didn’t wake up one day and decide this would be my story. Nobody does. It’s more like a series of small doors you walk through because they seem easier than the ones behind you. A bad relationship. Bills stacking up. The kind of loneliness that feels louder in a crowded room than it does when you’re alone. The first night, I told myself it was temporary. The hundredth night, I stopped counting. You learn people quickly in this life. Faster than most ever will. You learn who’s kind, who’s pretending to be, and who stopped seeing you as human the second money changed hands. You also learn something unexpected—how many people are just… hurting. Men with wedding rings who don’t talk about their marriages. Young guys trying to prove something. Older ones trying to feel like time hasn’t already taken too much. Sometimes, they just want to talk. Those are the nights that stay with me. Sitting on the edge of a bed, listening to someone spill their life story like I’m a confessional booth instead of a stranger they paid. It’s strange—being invisible and seen at the same time. There’s a kind of strength you build doing this. Not the loud, heroic kind. The quiet kind. The kind that lets you smile when you don’t feel like it. The kind that teaches you how to leave pieces of yourself behind so you can survive the moment. But pieces don’t just disappear. They wait. I keep mine tucked away in small places—a song I refuse to forget, a photo I don’t show anyone, a dream I’m not ready to admit is still alive. Because underneath all of this… I’m still me. Not the name I sell, not the version people think they know. Just someone who took a different road and is still trying to find her way back.

“God = Good Orderly Direction” is a simple but powerful way people in recovery make spirituality practical and usable—especially if traditional ideas about God feel distant or complicated. At its core, it means this: God isn’t something you have to fully define—it’s something you can follow. What “Good” means “Good” is about alignment with honesty, integrity, and growth. It’s the opposite of the chaos, selfishness, or fear that often drove old behaviors. It asks: Is this choice leading me toward healing or harm? What “Orderly” means “Orderly” is structure instead of chaos. It’s doing things in a way that creates stability: - showing up - telling the truth - keeping your side of the street clean - taking things one step at a time Addiction thrives in disorder. Recovery thrives in order. What “Direction” means “Direction” is guidance—not perfection. It’s about the next right action, not having your whole life figured out. It’s that quiet internal nudge that says: - “Call someone instead of isolating.” - “Be honest instead of manipulative.” - “Pause instead of reacting.” Putting it all together When you follow Good Orderly Direction, you’re essentially trusting: - the principles of recovery - the suggestions that have worked for others - a path that consistently leads to peace instead of chaos So instead of asking, “What do I believe about God?” you start asking, “What is the next right thing to do?” And when you keep doing the next right thing—over and over—you begin to experience something bigger than yourself working in your life. That’s the magic of it: You don’t have to understand God to experience God. In this sense, God becomes less about a concept and more about a way of living—a steady movement away from disorder and toward peace, clarity, and freedom.

Welcome 🤗 @Mary Lourd Antivo to this space!! Please feel free to call me anytime!! 407-444-1132

I am 👥new at this and have no idea 🤷🏻‍♀️ how to navigate 🗺️ this site. I apologize🗣️ for not keeping up or 👩🏻‍🚀having my ❤️‍🩹classroom be not available. I will keep🙎🏻‍♀️ in touch with y’all !! I’m learning!!📝🍀

“. . . sometimes the good is the enemy of the best.”…Alcoholics Anonymous Coming of Age pg.101 🕊️💡I think these words apply to every area of A.A.’s Three Legacies: Recovery, Unity and Service! I want them etched in my mind and life as I “trudge the Road of Happy Destiny” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 164). These words, often spoken by cofounder Bill W., were appropriately said to him as the result of the group’s conscience. It brought home to Bill W. the essence of our Second Tradition: “Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.” Just as Bill W. was originally urged to remember, I think that in our group discussions we should never settle for the “good,” but always strive to attain the “best.” These common strivings are yet another example of a loving God, as we understand Him, expressing Himself through the group conscience. Experiences such as these help me to stay on the proper path of recovery. I learn to combine initiative with humility, responsibility with thankfulness, and thus relish the joys of living my twenty-four hour program.