PDA isn’t about “won’t”… it’s about “can’t right now.” One of the biggest shifts is realising this isn’t defiance in the way people think. 🧠 It’s not that “They’re choosing not to listen”, “They’re being difficult” Or “They just need firmer boundaries” It’s “I feel too overwhelmed to access what you’re asking” “My nervous system is in protection mode” “I need safety before I can cooperate” And the tricky part? 🧩 It can look like control, avoidance, arguing, or pushing back — especially in moments where, on the surface, the demand seems small. But for a PDA nervous system, even everyday things can feel like a loss of autonomy. So instead of asking: “How do I make them do it?” We start asking: “How do I reduce the pressure enough so they can?” That’s where things begin to shift. 💕

A few days ago I shared that our mum, Coreen Lofthouse von Randow, passed away. The kindness and messages people have sent since then have meant a great deal to our family. Mother’s Day is meant to be about celebrating the women who raised us and shaped who we are. My mum was one of those people. She was deeply loved and will be deeply missed. Telling the children has been especially difficult. My son in particular has been very upset — he hasn’t taken off the Oodie she bought him. It’s his way of staying close to her. Grief is a strange thing. It comes in waves while life still keeps moving around you, and you try to stay present for the people who still need you. Mum, I hope you knew how much you were loved. And to everyone reading this today — please hold your loved ones a little closer and tell them what they mean to you. Time is something we should never take for granted. 💛

I wanted to let you know that my mum passed away. As you can imagine, it’s a very difficult time for me and my family. I may not be as active here for a little while while I take the time I need to process everything and be with those closest to me. This community means a lot to me, and I’m incredibly grateful for the kindness, conversations, and support that exist here every day. Please keep connecting with each other and supporting one another as you always do.. Thank you for understanding. Ellie

Welcome @Bernadette Norman and @Amy Kansara to the community 🌿 Lovely to have you both here! Since you’re both new to Skool, a quick tip to help you find your way around: the Classroom tab holds lots of free resources, guides, and tools that grow as time goes on. You can explore at your own pace. The tabs across the top are really useful for finding different areas of the community. Feel free to jump into conversations, ask questions, or simply take a look around and get a feel for the space. There’s no pressure here — just support, ideas, and people who understand the ups and downs of parenting. Glad you’ve joined us 🌱💕

Please give a big welcome to @Rosanna Visser , @Tim Tindle @Alison Sharon & @Amy Chalom-Perez 🌱 You’ve just stepped into a space where we look at behaviour through a nervous-system lens. Where we talk about co-regulation over control. Where growth is slow, steady, and deeply rooted. Whether you’re here as a parent, carer, educator — or simply curious about doing things differently — you’re in the right place. If you feel comfortable, tell us: • Who you are • Who you’re here for • What’s been feeling heavy lately • Or what you’re hoping to grow This community moves because people share honestly. There’s no pressure to have it all figured out. We’re glad you’re here 🌿 — Ellie