Forehead , pain , industrial grind , lots of talking in the office next door forehead , pain , shallow , breathing meditation hands, imaginingi can speak french, business stuff , the office ending their conversation, doors closing. "Completion from old realities, Completion from my challenges, Completion for a new beginning"

I haven't done my exercise the past week that's the truth. I cant believe its been 30 days, it felt more like 60. I'm still in pain, taking it easy, and being positive. February 17th year of the Horse my favorite celebration chinese newyears. I will not forget the value of the exercises.

I had a dream where I was in a big facility—almost like an oversized mall. It also resembled a theme like Rome, the Colosseum: a very big, open area. There was some grass along the outer sides, close to the walls. A whole bunch of people were there, and there was something we all did. I didn’t feel like I was forced to do it, but it felt like custom—like this is just what you do. The custom was something like bowing, kneeling, or getting close to the ground. Someone didn’t really know why we did it, which was strange. It felt like some form of praising or conforming, maybe even energy control. I don’t know. I remember saying, for some reason, that it was “to honor the law of the land.” That part really stuck with me, and I was curious what the law of the land actually meant. After that, there were some other things that happened. There was a whole group of us—maybe six, maybe eight; I don’t really remember exactly. We were on this oversized chariot, and we weren’t allowed to hold onto anything. We had to stay balanced and not fall off while the horses moved and took turns. As the chariot turned, I felt like an owl—like how an owl can turn its head 360 degrees. But I wasn’t just turning my head; I was twisting and turning my body while keeping my legs planted and balanced. A few people fell off, and a few died, and I didn’t really understand what that meant. After that, I was trying to spin like a ballerina in what looked like a department store. People kept getting in my way while I was trying to learn how to do a perfect ballerina spin. I used a blanket or something similar and threw it up toward the ceiling, then used it to swing from one place to another. It was very acrobatic. I didn’t fall—I landed on my feet. Then someone came over, upset, trying to get the blanket back from me. I reached my hand out, and the blanket fell down and draped perfectly over my arm. I grabbed it, did a whipping motion, and it folded perfectly. I handed it back to him, and he looked surprised.

I haven’t posted everyday but I have always done my exercises. Happy holidays everyone. Silent atmosphere, upstairs neighbors heavy footed kids running around, passing motorcycle rev, I feel my hoodie draped over my eyes. Calm. ... ... ... My last 5 minutes was 4 minutes long. My thoughts were more active, my breathing more noticeable. I cant think of an intention. Its not that I don't care, but it is what it is so I don't care. I do enjoy these moments and these exercises I feel more here and now. Im on track. Tomorrow 20 days straight. 10 more days left. I wish I could read others thoughts and their experiences with the exercises, am I doing what im supposed to do? 10 more days who cares, committed and filling through.

Last year, on the first, I ran my first marathon. This year, I’m unable to attempt to beat my time. Six months I’ve been dealing with a shattered toe that’s still healing. Though most of it is attached, it is not secure—the integrity is lacking. I’m with the group that runs, and I’m watching the runners at this years New Year’s event. I’m happy to be here but I won’t be staying long. I know for sure, I know in my spirit that I won’t be able to do a marathon next year as well. I know that it will take me a while, but I’ve learned a whole lot while I’ve been injured. I’ve learned more lessons than I could possibly have learned in a time frame of six months. It was needed to balance my energy. I don’t feel down, and Im not going to say that I’m hoping for the best. I’m absolutely fine. I know times get rough, but it’s all a cycle. Everything happens in unique timing to make all things work out. I wanted to let anyone who’s reading this—who may be feeling down or going through some things—know for fact that the so-called bad can be good. I know it may be hard to see at times, but I wanted to share this with anyone who’s going through a hard time: keep your chin up. I love all of y’all. I don’t know all of you, at least not on this physical plane, but never give up—and have a wonderful New Year.