I woke up feeling great. I woke up knowing that it was my day off. And I didn't need to be forced to do anything. But it is time for me to get up. Im ready. I placed my sleeping equipment where they belong. The floor’s clear. I put on my long sleeve and my new favorite hoodie. I separated the window curtains. It's beautiful out. I grabbed my chair, placed it facing the window. Time for me to meditate. I feel so good. The migraine I've had is gone. I hear the howling of the wind. With my eyes shut, the light that came from the sun turned gray. Grey most likely from the clouds that fly overhead. My dream — the awkward handshake that the man tried giving me that I corrected and firmly gripped like a man; the familiarity of that bad habit that I had back in the day where I was chewing tobacco. I had moments of what I remembered from my dream. I had thoughts about what will it be that I share. It's a mystery to me. It almost feels like an expectation. Let go of that. It's not. It's 10 minutes of mystery, 10 minutes of breath. I'm realizing the more I practice these exercises, the more my mind quiets, and all I know is breathing. My time ends. I pick up my pen and begin to write my notes. The notes are funny. The notes are written in chicken scratch. Only I could understand. Keep it simple. Time to meditate once more. I did have an intention that I wrote down the day before, something that resonated. “I will not struggle.” It then turned to “I'm not struggling,” and it just didn't feel right to keep on saying that. Mind started to think less. It's peaceful. I am at peace. I am at peace with work. I am at peace with my finances. I am at peace with myself. I have peace over myself. I'm the only one who has control over my peace. I'm happy I found community. I have love. I am love. I know time is about to end. I have 5, 4… and on 3, my breath deepens — it's sensational. Two… and before I could say one, my alarm goes off. I bet if I didn't breathe as deep as I did, I would've been, quote, on time.💚

My mind more silent than usual. I feel my toe. It stands out. More silent than usual, less external noise. I can hear the faint sound of the early rising travelers. It's so silent. I'm happy I waited for everyone to leave. I hear the air screeching — not ringing, not tinnitus. Not spiritual gossip or enlightenment significance. I'm anxious with slight nerves of chill and relaxation. My dang toe. Silent the mind. It feels so good. My alarm goes off, and it's time for me to write. What will be my focus next meditation? For the first minute, it felt like 2. I had no intention, and I felt as if I needed to set intention. I couldn't think of anything. Forcing this was pressuring. Just breathe. I have no intention. I need an intention to focus on — that's the exercise — but I don't want to force the intention. I found you. "Don't force intention". Breathe and "Flow". My body slithers in my seat like a cobra, rocking left to right, right to left. I touch my head, my neck my shoulders. I always ache since losing my mobility. With a quiet mind, no pressure, just breathing, I feel my touch. I shiver. I ache for touch. I wish... I had a personal masseuse. Frustration but I feel so good. Just flow, just breathe.

I woke up from my sleep with extreme cotton mouth, which is unusual for me. I haven’t had cotton mouth since back when I used to smoke. My head hurts too, which is normal when I wake up during the day. I don’t prefer doing my awareness-strengthening exercises first thing in the morning—maybe it would feel better if my sleep cycle were consistent and I slept at night and woke up early. Right now, doing them after waking up during the day leaves me feeling lethargic and hazy. I had an interesting dream about getting ready for an appointment and trying not to be late, but I was also waiting on someone in the distance. There was a boat in a small body of water, and a dog that was happy to play in it. The dog did something that caused the boat to start sinking—even though the water looked more like a shallow rain-created puddle. Despite how small it looked, the water ended up swallowing the boat whole. Later in the dream I was in a mall. A lady there was getting a makeover and struggling with something, so I helped her. She was happy I stepped in and wanted to take pictures with me, but she also wanted me to “fix” my teeth and gave me false teeth to wear for the photos. After the pictures, I took them off. She clung to me a bit, like she enjoyed my company. Nearby, on a bench, there was a cat whose face was on fire. I immediately went over to put out the flames. After that, we walked through the mall and eventually separated. I met up with my sister, who said she was hungry. Then a Japanese woman began harassing her and trying to force a sale. I stepped in and told her, “No, we won’t buy,” and all of the woman’s friends laughed at her. She became extremely embarrassed and unpleasant. My sister and I kept walking through the mall, and she took a sharp left turn into an employee-only area. As she did, I noticed one big man, three girls, and another guy—people who were definitely after her. I flanked the group, took out the girls, and with kitchen cuttery I threw them with precision and took out the other men. More agents arrived, and I kept taking them down one by one.

I left work in a bad mood after security stopped me, saying I didn’t have permission to bring my phone inside, even though I followed every procedure. They wrote an incident report, which upset me because my employer has lied and tried to manipulate me into working beyond my restrictions before. My specialist also tried to convince me I was fine when my toe was still crushed, and I later found out they withheld X-rays and results. I know I’ve been followed and investigated, and while I understand they don’t want people abusing the system, it makes me feel unsafe when I did everything right and people still worked against me. It left me angry and scared because I know they may try to get rid of me, and I don’t want this to be the reason. On the drive home, I was overwhelmed with mixed emotions until I calmed down listening to music, and seeing a deer helped ground me. I reminded myself that everything will be okay and that I’ll get my justice. It’s frustrating because I can’t do much except stay calm, do the right thing, and not let the injustice get to me. But I hate being taken advantage of. I’m a nice person, but I’m not afraid to defend myself. I feel like I was made for war but meant to love, and having to hold back that instinct is hard. But if I want true justice, I have to stay disciplined and do everything the right way. I did my first 5 minutes of awareness. I still feel tensed. I'm too aware. I'm slowly beginning to loosen up but not quite relaxed. At this point, I feel like I'm forcing myself to keep my eyes shut. I realize I can't exactly trust someone, due to who they're affiliated with and spoke of great respect, which that person wasn't someone who was helpful in the beginning of my situation. I'm worried my 5 minutes will end before I can truly feel okay. I have this burning sensation on my face, a feeling similar to getting a tattoo down both sides of my nose, starting from my eyes to my cheek. Time is up. So my alarm goes off, and I write down my thoughts, and then I begin my last 5 minutes. What better thing to focus on than “everything is going to be all right,” which was something I thought on my drive but was having a hard time maintaining. “Everything is going to be all right. Everything is going to be all right.” My left ear feels pressure. “I will receive my true justice. I will receive my true justice. I will receive my true justice,” but these phrases just aren't hitting me the way I'd want them to. Even though I'm focusing on them, I feel like I'm having a hard time believing them. I feel as if I am in limbo.

Let's keep each other acountable in this 30 day challenge. If you have been following along, you may have already seen a huge shift in your energy and reality. If not, that's okay just stick to the practice and you will see a change. Now, below I want you to tell me your goals of the week or at least the ones you're comfortable sharing with the community. This is to ensure we stay committed and hold accountability for the vision we desire. Without that, theres no change. LETS GOOOO, let me know in the comments below.🎉