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Relationship Reset Community
35 members • Free
2 contributions to Relationship Reset Community
Feb 10 •Â
seeking advice on how to move on without resentment o regret
Hi All, New to the group, and looking forward to connecting with you all. Coach Drew / Community - I seem to have a reoccuring theme with all relationships male and or female. I love making people happy, and I guess with that comes a need to seek validation for my contributions which I guess impacts my self worth when I don't receive that validation. Work - as a Sales support engineer, it shows up in the form of my immediate supervisor not being happy or satisfied with not hitting sales targets, feeling like its put squarely on my shoulders vs. the sales team and I then get defensive, resentful and well difficult to deal with. I want the manager to be happy but his refusal to accept certain facts as true nad contributory. Fun - I play in a band... I do alot for the band and I love to entertain people and receive that validation from the audience. However, the band leader consistently pulls me aside and complains about details and musicianship from his perspective. I want him to be happy but am often conflicted with the response I am receiving from the venue and patrons. In each instance, I stay far two long rather than moving on from situations that are not mutually beneficial. I am often lost at how we got from I love you to, the passive aggressive behavior that typically ends these relationships, accept that things have changed and move on in a healthy way without resentment or regret.
0 likes • Feb 12
@Coach Drew Robertson I am not so sure I understand that or see how that changes outcomes. If I continue to show up, play with my values of entertaining others and ignoring his feelings, eventually he will be resentment and frustration, if he's not already there, and replace me. In the past, that's sort of what I did bugt I held anger and resentment for having to been made to feel like I was doing less than my best in either situation and knowing that previous outcomes with others in the roles did not have any more or less impact. They were better at politics or as my prior company would say, maintaining and promoting my " brand".
0 likes • Feb 12
and to that point, how long does one continue to care for another person without acknowledgement or reciprocation before it becomes unhealthy for the mind body and spirit. There can and should be a certain level of appreciation, even as a friend and 35 yr partner to say thank you. If a stranger did it, they would surely say thank you and show appreciation. Similarly, I have been trying to settle my divorce agreement for 8 months. She has blocked all communications and refuses to execute on her responsibilities forcing me to file a request with the courts. Not all all what I want to do, and yet, after receiving several calls from family members slamming me for doing so, I went and shoveled the snow on my former residence because it felt like the right thing to do given the older boys were apparently not well and possibly unable to help. So what's the answer, just stop being who I am or keep looking like a fool to those around me. I just dont know.
Feb 9 •Â
Is this a win
My wife has started unearthing old emails and sharing them with me. These have many negative interactions - is his a win?
1 like • Feb 10
Its interesting how quickly people let go of all the good a person does and how long they hold onto resentment of the past, even after acknowledging a mistake and steps taken to make changes to ensure it doesn't happen again. Is it too little too late or a reluctance to forgive and give up that control?
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@robert-de-lorenzo-4038
Hi, 55 yr old male recently divorced and semi retired. I hold hold a BS in network and communications from DeVry and an MBA from DeVry Keller.
Active 227d ago
Joined Feb 9, 2025
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