@Marcia Ruddell hi Marcia. The journey must have been tough and painful for you. And I or anybody else would not have enough explanation to compensate the pain of your journey. It is only you can feel it. And only you as well who can navigate as you say and locate all the roots of the pain in the room of your heart so you can uproot all of these to free yourself. And that takes time, how long? No one can tell. Not even you. But one thing, we should understand is that the pain that we feel after we lose something important, initially puts the weight of pain on the impact of losing something. And we dwell on that, like we celebrate that pain everyday or when that memory of what we lost comes back over and over again. And regrets, emptiness, isolation, bitterness, and other sort of condemnation would seem to be a regular cycle. And that is totally fine. There is nothing wrong with it. Because is a natural reponse to grief. Grief makes us vurnerable to all feelings grief may bring to us. But here is one thing we must realize and is very important. The grief we feel, in most times, does not really anchor to what we lost. But it originates back deep to ourself. It originates from that part of ourself which we have not discovered yet but that situation of loss opened for us, or navigated us to that part of our being. But we don't know it yet. We don't know that part of our being as a person yet. That is why it takes for some people to get over losses and grief for some time as necessary because it takes time for them to navigate to that part of their life and finally find themselves. Your loss, it will lead you to discovering some of the missing piece of you. It will reveal parts of you that may be are unlikable that you need to work on. And also parts of you that are your strengths but you did not know before. Your journey might be long but it will lead you to discovering the You in you. The moment you realize that, you will be a new person.