Today I felt myself sinking into my couch watching TV and dodging my phones notifications. One of the most frustrating states that I can be in, start like that and end after a week of the same thing. Gradually upping the need for cheap dopamine until im also scrolling between YouTube shorts, Instagram reels, and TikToks while the tv is playing something. I recognize how this starts. I don't want to fall into the same trap. I think I spent today slacking because starting tomorrow I have classes, a passport renewal, and a 2nd round of interviews. And I have no idea how it's gonna look yo balance all the responsibilities and still make time for muay thai consistently. I sense the burnout inducing routine coming. A lot of busy days. on top of all this im on day 8 of 21 doing prayer and fasting. I was fasting from sun up to sun down which i changed today to overnight, from 9pm- 1pm the next day. I also wanna start tracking my calories. There's alot on my plate while there's little on it at the same time. . Idk, i think im just venting atp... Ur old habits sneak up on u and im just trying to dodge it and break the pattern some how. Looking at the bright side, at least im sober

Building habits can feel impossible when you just depend on your busy brain to get you there because things get lost in all those thoughts. We mean to do one thing but do everything around the objective except getting to the actual goal. Recently this year I have had a tool to help me out. If you have adhd you have probably been recommended the book " atomic habits " before and so have I. What i found out this year is that there is a APP! Its called ATOMS and it helps keep you accountable towards developing those habits. I use the free version. Here's what it looks like and my current goals, I've been sticking to them very well this year :) i hope some of u try it out and share your progress.

One of the biggest themes in my life this year has been the tendency to victimize myself and to be extremely defensive. What I realize now, after a situation this week with my mom, is that being accountable and humble doesn’t include validating your actions. I’m learning why allowing yourself to be a victim is dangerous. The biggest reason is this, when someone is defended by others, or is defending themselves, they hurt back and offend without even realizing it, and lose the reason they had in the situation to be defending themselves in the first place. It’s very hard to be defensive without offending. It takes discipline and maturity. Think about how aggressive people get when they are held back from a fight. How much shit a little guy talks when they have a big guy to defend them. The bible teaches to turn the other cheek because if you let the pain of the past dictate your actions in the future, you will only bring more pain and suffering to yourself and others. The thoughts of self-righteous justice or revenge moving you forward and clouding your judgment and clarity over your actions will lead you to offend the same or more than the original offense. Be careful, don’t allow yourself to be a victim, choose to be bigger than that. Once you forgive all offenses you should not feel like a victim within yourself, but just a person in a situation. And it’s up to you to step away, breathe in, and defuse the situation before bringing a worse situation about.

Feels impulsive and contradictory to what I said in a prior post but i really feel like i needed to claim the name. I have been consistent with posting here and I will include that in my one post a day. I gotta start engaging with more people on here tho, bringing more people into here, and shamelessly promote this on my socials, possibly run some Instagram ads

Righr now for me that's studying the bible and taking notes. Today It was the first thing on my mind and I did everything but just read. I deadass went to the bank and got a new debit card before actually reading anything. I completed all my atomic habit goals except the main one I had in mind. It almost feels like a Decoy meant to make me productive by avoiding it. Overthinking comes with overcomplicating simple things, making mountains out of anthills. Am I oversimplifying if I tell you the answer is to JUST DO IT!? Forget finding the right study music, forget trying to take the perfect notes, and getting super comfortable to read. Just open the book and read it. Drop everything and do it, the motivation will come from momentum. When you have not read a single paragraph, the hardest thing to do is reading a single paragraph. But ask yourself for real, is reading a paragraph hard to do? No right? Then just do it