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2 contributions to The L.O.V.E. Lab
1 like • 8d
This is such an important one because sometimes it’s not even the words themselves, but what we’re already feeling when we hear them. Michael, when you teach this concept, what do you find helps people most with recognizing when they’re reacting to the meaning they’ve attached to the words rather than what was actually said?
0 likes • 8d
@Coach Shavon Hi Coach Shavon! Thank you for jumping in and explaining that. I really like that question “What did they actually say and what meaning did I add to it?” It’s simple, but I can see how powerful that pause can be in a real conversation. I’m enjoying learning more about what you and Michael are building with The Love Lab. With all the frameworks and practical tools you teach, how are you planning to guide members through actually applying these lessons inside the community?
8d •
🔎 Weekly Pattern Check | What Emotion Is Driving the Reaction?
This week, don’t just notice what you do—get curious about what you’re feeling underneath it. Think about a recent moment when you reacted more strongly than the situation seemed to require. Maybe you became defensive, withdrew, over-explained, got irritated, tried to control the outcome, or immediately went into problem-solving mode. Now ask yourself: ❤️ What emotion was actually operating underneath my reaction? Was it fear? Rejection? Embarrassment? Disappointment? Feeling unheard? Feeling unappreciated? Something else? You don’t have to judge the emotion or solve it today. Just name it. One of the ways we stop loving by Default and begin loving By Design is learning to recognize what is operating beneath our behavior. Drop yours in the comments: “When I ________, the emotion underneath is often ________.” 🤓 Love Geeks don’t just ask, “Why did I do that?” We get curious about what was operating underneath it. —The Marriage Pastor & Coach Shavon
1 like • 8d
This is a really interesting way to look at our reactions. I think we can sometimes focus so much on the behavior that we miss what’s actually driving it underneath. I’m curious, when you help people identify that underlying emotion, what usually comes next for them? Is the bigger challenge recognizing the emotion, or knowing what to do with it once they recognize it?
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