I have written several letters to the people I have been in relationships and situationships with since my divorce from my children's father ten years ago. This was very healing to do, as I noticed that unfinished energy from past connections was unconsciously carrying over into new ones. Becoming more aware of this pattern helps me make conscious choices to stay anchored in my own field, rather than reacting out of compassion in ways that do not serve me. I still feel love for each of them even after a relationship ends and we are not a good match in real life. However, I need to protect myself from lingering too much in that love, because when they seek attention, especially when there is strong attraction, it can leave me confused. Consciously creating more emotional distance helps me truly bring closure to what has ended and let it rest.

My biggest breakthrough from today’s breathwork was shifting completely from my mind into my body. I experienced a deep sense of peace, calm, and trust, feeling completely whole and infinite love. I truly felt at home within myself and rooted in my own frame. The emotions that came up for me were grief and sadness. I felt grief regarding people who let go of me or whom I had to let go, even though I would have loved to still have them in my life. I also strongly felt the emotion of ‘not being chosen’. My biggest breakthrough was releasing this pain, realizing that this deep wound actually stems from my father and mother, and is not truly mine. By breathing through it, it brought me back to a comforting feeling of deep inner peace. At the end of the session, I felt a strong, positive, light, and joyful sensation of peace and trust, knowing that everything is good.

My biggest insight from connecting to my inner child during the meditation: ‘I can be there for you now. You don't have to do this alone anymore.’ I see my inner child as much more joyful, happier, more spontaneous, and more energetic than I thought she was. I like that she found it fun that I was with her, and I am happy with her and everything she can feel, and how much of a fine person she is. She is so, so pure. ‘I love you. So versatile, So light, So happy, So energetic, So full of love, And so beautiful. I’ve got you.’ What emotions came up: It’s okay to feel: joyful, spontaneous, lonely, happy, anxious, jealous, shamed, overwhelmed, shy, hyper, angry, worried, confused, unseen/invisible, helpless, not seen, not heard, unsafe, down, sad, and enthusiastic.