(September 19th entry from 'Honorary Indian Decolonized' available on Amazon) As some of you may or may not know, yesterday I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. Okay, she diagnosed. I argued. She insisted. I debated. You get the gist? At the end of the day, the reading wasn’t different ... but my attitude was. I did my research. I found out that one in five Canadians have high blood pressure. (I’m sorry! That’s pathetic!) This explains why it’s no big deal to so many. I don’t have that cross to bear (and funny, yesterday I would have said, I don’t have that luxury). I watched high blood pressure and diabetes take my Mother from me and my eldest brother. So, as I said to my roomie, “I ain’t ready to say good- bye to my kids.” With the morning sun today, I am resolved to my new life and excited about the possibilities, and I know that I have learned some things ... • I know that high blood pressure doesn’t mean a death sentence for me, but it does mean a wakeup call. My health IS a gift, and as I have often stated, a gift not cherished is soon lost. • I know that my Mother was an amazing, warm, intelligent, loving person who sometimes made bad choices. I have no doubt that if she had taken her diagnosis of high blood pressure as seriously as she did her diabetes diagnosis, maybe I wouldn’t be writing this note. I will learn from her mistake, as I hope my children learn from mine. • I know that quitting smoking is minimal to the benefits of a great new body, good lungs, and great health, and I’m excited about the future. • I know now that my ‘work out’ isn’t something I should take time out to do, it should be a priority. I know now that ten years from now the report that is due won’t matter, but my health will. • I know now that every cigarette I touched, or every fatty calorie I inflicted on my body equals time my kids will have to do without me, and I’m just not that selfish. The cigarettes are gone and the calories I will save for what my body needs. A treat now and then, sure, that’s life, but more than that ... not what I or my body deserve.

On this amazing Monday morning, I just have to ask ... How are you doing? What do you think of the course so far? What do you think of the daily readings? Has anything really resonated with you so far? I would LOVE to hear! Sandi

Creator, in his infinite wisdom Saw that I was struggling And could no longer stand alone. That even my steadfast faith and beliefs Were being tested with the death of my mentor. He saw I needed help, More than he could provide through prayer or visions. So, he found me an angel with gifts of understanding, support, Encouragement, and guidance. But Creator knew I do not reach out That I was being blinded by my grief. So, he wrapped this wonderful gift In a package I could not miss and sent him to me, The man of my dreams, all I ever wanted, Bearing the gifts I so desperately needed to hear. His eyes made me smile, his laugh brought me joy And his heart reached out and gently touched my soul. Slowly, without thought, I smiled, As he showed me the path back to the land of the living. Thank you, Creator, for saving me, for loving me, and for My Angel.

When I say be honest, I mean it. Don’t sugar coat Don’t look for answers that soothe. Be HONEST and thereby respectful. Show me you care And that you value who I am Not by shielding me, But with your honesty. Do not insult my intelligence Or leave me to drown in ‘whys’. Be honest and straightforward. Look me in the eyes And tell me you love another. Tell me you aren’t attracted to me. Tell me the truth. Let me at least be able to leave Respecting you and Not despising you for your deceit. Have the balls to be honest Not just when it makes me smile But even when It makes me cry. Then and only then Will I ever believe That you truly loved And knew me.

Welcome to this amazing community dedicated to relationships and reconciliation! Please comment below and let us all know where you are from and why you joined me in this amazing space! I cannot wait to hear!