Receive effort without immediately reciprocating at the same intensity. A thoughtful gesture does not create a debt. You can simply enjoy being considered. I realized that receiving does not begin when I meet my husband. I have to learn how to receive before the relationship happens. And there are so many opportunities to practice this in my life right now. Receiving a compliment and simply saying thank you instead of minimizing it. Allowing someone to help me instead of immediately saying, “I got it. Accepting a gift without mentally calculating what I need to buy them in return. Letting someone pay for my meal without feeling like I need to get the next one. Allowing someone to carry something for me, open the door for me, make something easier for me, or take something off my plate. Receiving support from my family without feeling like I have to prove that I can do everything alone. Paying for services that support my life and actually allowing myself to be served. Letting someone celebrate me without turning the attention back toward them. Receiving kindness from a stranger without questioning why they were kind. Accepting an opportunity, connection, resource, or introduction without feeling like I immediately owe the person something. Allowing people to show up for me when I am usually the person who shows up for everyone else. Receiving rest without believing I have to earn it first. Receiving ease without creating something difficult to replace it. Receiving God’s provision without immediately moving on to the next thing I am asking Him for. Receiving an answered prayer and actually sitting long enough to enjoy what I once prayed for. Receiving is something I can practice everywhere. Because then, when the relationship comes, being pursued does not feel unfamiliar. When he plans the date, I can receive it. When he chooses the restaurant and makes the reservation, I can receive it. When he opens my door, I can receive it. When he brings me flowers, I can receive them without immediately thinking about what I should buy him. When he notices something I need and handles it, I can say thank you and allow myself to be cared for. When he gives generously, I do not have to rush to prove that I am equally generous. When he makes my life easier, I do not have to find another burden to carry so I still feel independent. When he pursues me consistently, I do not have to start pursuing him back at the same intensity.

Let a man reveal his consistency, initiative, character, and capacity without helping him become the man you need him to be. This is something I believe I have only truly implemented once, and I loved the experience because I did not allow myself to become emotionally attached too quickly. Instead of getting caught up in what the connection could become, I observed. I paid attention to what he naturally showed me. I discussed what I was observing with my coach, and from there, I decided what I believed his purpose was in my life. That clarity allowed me to step back without trying to make the connection become something else. There was nothing for me to fix, force, explain, or develop. Dating from observation allows me to receive information before giving someone emotional access to me. I can enjoy getting to know a man while allowing his consistency, initiative, character, and capacity to speak for themselves. I do not have to help a man become the man I need. I simply have to observe who he already is and discern accordingly.

Allow what you desire to grow without gripping it. For me, this applies to both my private practice and my journey toward marriage. In business, I can build, serve, market, follow through, and position my practice for growth without trying to control exactly where every client comes from. Dating requires the same posture. I can prepare for marriage, position myself in aligned spaces, maintain my standards, date intentionally, and remain open without trying to control when, where, or how my husband arrives. I do not have to chase connection, manufacture momentum, or turn potential into partnership. My responsibility is to prepare, position, participate, and discern. I can deeply desire the outcome without gripping the process.

For me, I’ve always felt like if I helped people the way I wanted someone to help me when I was going through something similar, then it would really help them. And even though it does help in some way, it doesn’t always help in the way I expect it to. Then I end up disappointed, sad, or upset because I expected my help to create a certain outcome. This connects to my love journey because my husband is a generous man. He helps his extended family, but he does not put the family we created together in jeopardy to do it. He helps from overflow, and he expects the same from me. Helping family is not the issue. Where the help is coming from has to be examined and surrendered. Am I helping because God told me to, or am I helping because I know what it feels like to struggle and I want to rescue someone from that feeling? If God is going to use me to help someone, He will tell me, just like He does with everything else. I don’t have to automatically step in just because I understand what someone is going through.

Have you truly stopped and dissected the material presented to us in this community? Every so often, I slow down, break it apart, and pray about how to apply it throughout my life. For me, the next series is Find Your Feminine. Day 1: Stop chasing closure. The way we do one thing often becomes the way we do everything. We often think of closure in terms of relationships. Something ends, and before we can move forward, we feel like we need one final conversation, explanation, or understanding. For me, it wasn’t a man. It was a past job. I wasn’t consciously waiting for closure, but I realized part of my life had stopped while I waited for that situation to end. This past weekend, I decided my life could begin again before any of it was resolved. I no longer require them to give me the ending I wanted. I surrender the past, present, and future of it, and I am moving forward. And I’m carrying that into dating too. If something ends, I don’t need a man to explain it perfectly, validate what happened, or give me closure before I continue living. I can accept the ending and keep moving.