done lol. I have this ache in my throat where my words rest. Sometimes they slip off my tongue, sometimes I play the long game. Throwing baseballs in the air, sometimes my dry humor hits like a home run. I can’t help but to feel sometimes that I hit more fouls than anyone in the league. I take a sip of my drink and continue looking at the man that I just signed a deal with. Well, I signed his book. He wants to recruit my team and the aching was from the feeling that this man’s team has not won a game since the 1960’s. We were placing a bet. He said that if I can make his team go from loser to competitor, I would be helping fund my teams $100,000. I made the deal. It didn’t seem too bad... just move some of his players to B and C team, I’ll move my players up and then boom we have economy. New players will get signed, and then I have to prove my signature. I wondered if the team would mesh well, like the colors navy, white, and purple usually do. I wonder if an all males team would respect a female coach? Or if they even take a second and understand where their uniforms came from. I mean I’m not a seamstress, and the tag says it was from India. After the ballgame, he ordered me a cab. The game let out later than expected, overtime 7-3. And I was celebrating the Yankee win just as a forty year old fan would. He got a different cab. I’m thinking on the way home, that baseball is such an amazing sport. I just watched a game and I made $100,000. I make my way up to my New York suite apartment, and I see a pile of laundry in the hallway. New York is so interesting, because it’s one of the nicest yet slobbiest places. If a girl that loves baseball can get $100,000 just like that from watching a game and having a conversation, I wonder what $100,000 could do for someone that works for the field contractor. They would have to know the game like the back of their hands. At which degree does an angle lay at, in which ways the field must be mowed, exactly how many fans there are, average, at a game.

i feel like i’m also not enough on the side of being knowledgeable to help others. even though i know that i have free will, i’m scared that people will think that i’m too foolish and won’t want to join my community and business.

@Charley Raine thank you!!

https://open.substack.com/pub/blusunelysian/p/untitled-16?r=6ervde&utm_medium=ios i hope this counts as a journal:)

@Charley Raine yayy feedback and responses from the poll are helpful!

1). I feel like I’m building from the ground up! 2). I’m trying to build a life and business where I fully cherish my life and others. I want to connect with humanity and nature in a way that leaves a positive impact. 3). I’m proud of my positive outlook and trust in Jesus!