@Christine Hammond you are welcome.

@Christine Hammond small ponds are the best. And what blessing to be able to look out your window.

@Christine Hammond amen!!!

For those who do not have TikTok I will upload the videos from my phone.

@Christine Hammond you are most welcome. Thank you.

Today I volunteered to help deep clean the kitchen area at Haven School of dance. After three hours and completing the task I was turning off the lights since I was the last one out. There was three areas that were still lit. I went around and tried all the switches and then realized there were skylight windows in three areas of the kitchen. I laughed at myself and did not ask God to turn off the sun.

@Christine Hammond I can see you smile. That what is is all about.

@Christine Hammond I am happy that you feel supported. That is the main purpose of this Community that we can talk honestly about caregiving. The nuts and bolts of it. The things that are not freely talked about. Caregiving and can be glamorized. But it is far from that. Yes there are rewards and blessings. But most of the time is not taking personally what they are saying because they on some level know they are losing bits and pieces of themselves. In my 40 years as a nurse I watched the angry part and began to understand the person with dementia is really struggling to remain who they are. I know how I felt when I thought I was loosing myself. I can only imagine and not really imagine what they themselves are going through. And society still glosses over this reality. There is nobody being honest with families. You have to be able to overcome all that yourself. For years I have tried stepping in other peoples moccasins to better understand who and why they are the way they are. Truly learn to accept the person in front of me as who they are for who they are? Am I risking the chance that I will be used, taken advantage of? Yes, those are very real possibilities and I have had that happen. But God reminds me daily that He is in control. He has got it all handled. I know He does and more ways I trust that to be true. But then I wonder: based on the actions of man being man attempt to say in some aspects that I know more than Him. Then I am smacked with reality. He is the only one who has not once did anything to be distrusted for. Then I realize that I can accept the person befor me. And decide right then that it is worth the risk of being taken advantage of for good cause is better than not taking action. When we look at that and understand who He really is everything looks out of focus. In my darkest hour He has been there. Every single time He has been there. And for me that is enough in order to keep going. But when you are looking at your parent and really understanding they are human. That is something everyone caring for their parent needs to wrestle with. Set boundaries and understand that you can be gentle when discussing boundaries. I am the only child left to render care for my mother. Because of her high ability to attempt to manipulate things to her favor I have very strong boundaries. For my protection. It does not mean I will not help her. And unfortunately my children have been manipulated by her and as a rebellion for her doing that with them, they will help only if they are paid. Now I will help her and do it voluntarily but I will accept her money if offered and only ask if I can truly pay her back. Looking at her from an aging parent and knowing that she has only one child left alive how does that dynamic change. Same with you. Your dynamic with your mom is changing. The closer the loved one the more ruthless their words to you can be hard to not take personally. They are angry they are losing themselves and there is now in their mind no way to turn back. And with medical they are more pushing the medications than really seeing if there are ways to stop or turn this around. One needs hope. They need hope. The best hope is Him. There is some research out there looking at what can reverse dementia. And then when is it to late. I do not have all the answers but I do have love, support and His size heart to help guide you through with truth love and kindness.

@Christine Hammond you can respond as many times as you need. I am glad you are leaning on Him. I know you want the best for your mom. And that makes it harder at times and part of our frustration with our selves. Mothers and women in general are fixers. We want to fix what we feel is broken. When we know we can’t that is the harder to choice to sit with but when we allow ourselves to it is the greaser gift. I am happy to be available to you.