My trauma used to be a dark hole in my life, sucking everything into the abyss, with black shadow tendrils wrapping around every aspect of my internal life. My beliefs and values themselves were distorted beyond recognition and served to limit me, to keep my authentic self in a box. My voice was silenced and I felt invisible, like I had to constantly prove my existence. I am never enough. I am not safe. I must save everyone. Everyone will leave. Those are the limiting beliefs that kept me in a cage. Ghost voices of my father and abusers whispering to me that I’m nothing, that I need someone else to validate and complete me. But as I’ve said before, trauma can also be a superpower. My inner life is alive with imagination and focused introspective energy. My creativity is a refuge for me, even though the trauma even crept into that, limiting my expression and making me an extreme perfectionist. No matter how hard my C-PTSD tried, it could not dim the light that shines from within, that guides me along my path. The unbelievable strength and resolve that helped me survive also became the fodder for real transformation. We all have a narrative. A story we tell ourselves about our lives. When I finally salt safe, I opened up and started expressing myself and my life became an epic journey of self-discovery, replete with symbols, metaphors, and archetypes. I identified a few distinct characters within me, a process sometimes referred to as “parts work”. I am Chicken Little (my inner child), Wavy Purple (the woman who stood up and reclaimed her life after continuous trauma took her down to her knees. True story— I’ll tell it sometime), and the Purple Phoenix, the newest addition, the woman I am today who can transmute her trauma into wisdom and connection with others. There is also the Fierce Lioness Protector who defends my inner child. This process of defining inner parts has been extremely valuable in reclaiming my narrative. I still live with and will always struggle with C-PTSD. But I’ve done so much work to process and Integrate my trauma and have felt a noticeable change in my life. I still have a lot of work to do, but I feel that I’m ready to help others, to use my knowledge and experience to touch people’s lives and hopefully assist them in also moving forward and finding their voice and purpose.