If you are interested in learning more about narcissism, or are wanting to heal from narcissistic abuse, check out my Break Free: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse Course!

You can feel guilt when you do something wrong, but be careful not to take on the identity of that poor choice. You are not the sum of your bad choices!

Here are some basic tips to help you stay regulated in the face of trauma triggers, stress, and the storms of life!

AMA TOPIC: How to Build Healthy Relationships 1. What are Repair Attempts? Repair attempts are any effort to reduce tension and reconnect during or after conflict. They can be verbal or nonverbal and don’t need to be perfect — they just need to be a sincere gesture toward connection. Examples of repair attempts: - “Can we pause for a second?” - “That came out harsher than I meant.” - Humor, soft eye contact, a hand on the arm - “Can we set some time aside to spend time together soon?” - A warm hug Clinical insight:Successful relationships aren’t conflict-free — they’re repair-rich. The skill isn’t avoiding fights; it’s recognizing and accepting repair. All relationships have conflict, the secret of a lasting, healthy relationship is HOW you manage conflict, and how you mange the recovery. 2. Moving from “you vs. me” to “us vs. the problem” When partners externalize the issue, nervous systems settle and collaboration becomes possible. This framework helps couples to remember they are not enemies but are working together on the same team, toward the same goal. Making this shift alone moves you toward repair and resolution. Core idea:Shift from blame to pattern awareness. Helpful language: - “It feels like we get stuck in this loop — how do we handle it together?” - “I don’t think you’re the problem; I think this dynamic is.” 3. The Five-to-One ratio John Gottman (a leading expert on relationships) found that stable relationships maintain about 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative one, especially during conflict. This is a general rule of thumb to keep in mind—for every negative comment or criticism (even constructive criticism) you should try to “sandwich” that negativity in 5 positive comments or interactions. This cushions the potential harm or wounding that could be caused by negative words and helps preserve emotional safety within the relationship. Important clarification:This isn’t about tallying points — it’s about maintaining a safe and loving emotional climate.

🦋 Welcome to LifeBook Coaching🦋 I’m really glad you’re here. This is a space for growth, healing, and learning how to move through life with more steadiness, clarity, and self-trust. Like the butterfly, transformation here isn’t about rushing or becoming someone “better” — it’s about honoring the process, each stage, and the timing that’s right for you. Inside this community, you’ll find both free and paid courses designed to support emotional regulation, self-understanding, and healthier relationships — all at your own pace. There’s no pressure to do everything or to do it perfectly. Take what resonates, skip what doesn’t, and come back to what feels supportive. Most of all, this is a space rooted in compassion, curiosity, and safety. You don’t need to have it all figured out to be here — just a willingness to show up as you are. Welcome. I’m so glad you’ve joined us as you begin (or continue) taking flight. 🦋