The old me was someone who only felt good when they were pleased with how they looked outwardly. I only felt valuable and seen when I had everyone in my life complimenting me and validating me for all the work I did on my self. I was temporarily satisfied with trophies, likes, and staring at my self in a mirror. But when I relized that after all the effort I made in vain how unfufillled I was and out of place. The new me now knows that my worth and identity doesn’t come from how hard I work, but from simply opening up my hands and receiving it. I know now that no family or friend members complement will ever fill me like Christ fills me. He sees the unseen and internally has made me so specifically in a way that is beautiful, so I walk in confidence now out of my identity not for it. As a daughter of the Most High God I no longer want or need to work for any praise from humanity.

The orphan spirit tendencies I see in my walk with God are all of them, but striving specifically. I strive to please God with what I do and how well I do it, pretty much a religious cycle. God is calling me to confront these tendencies by not only recognizing but believing for my self that I serve a God that loves me before I do anything in His name. He calls me to love Him with my whole heart, whole soul, and whole mind first. That starts with first knowing Him and His heart before trying to please Him with the different hats I wear. But taking a step back and realizing He would rather I sit with Him than burning my self out doing work for Him and taking time to get to know Him. It helps to remember that’s the whole reason He died for us, to be in communion with us forever, to do life not just for but WITH Him.

Forgiving the people listed in my journal can help me clean out my VAT by reframing what really happened versus what I perceived happened between us. The devil has tried to use traumatic situations for me to bring confusion and division between my family and friends, but interpenetrating who the real enemy is and the true intention of each person has brought so much healing for me. This will help me hear God’s voice clearly because the noise of thoughts rising to the surface of my mind will be dealt with and the feelings that come along with them.

Thought transformation is definitely the most challenging for me. With my thoughts running rampant, I believe this makes it hard for me to hear the voice of God because it’s hard to differentiate what's God, the enemy, and my flesh. Transforming my thoughts to align with scripture and not allowing myself to believe the thoughts that don't match up has helped so much. Running my mind or else my mind will run me, and God has given me too much authority for me not to use it in this area of my life.

1. Joy 2. Integrity 3. Compassion  4. Gratitude  5. Stewardship  Kaila lives to bring attention and focus to those who feel unwanted, unheard, and unseen through being a faithful ambassador of God’s love, leading others to encounter Jesus, and eternally live life no longer chained or bound to the devil's schemes.