Great question Emma! I think asking it is actually where we start to address it. I think the source of defence is different person to person, but for me I find that I defend when I don't feel safe and don't take time. For example, when I started mentoring with @Paul Faix he often questioned me in what felt like a confronting way. I saw this as threatening (when it wasn't really) and would defend or justify regularly. For me this came down to me feeling incompetent. As I grew, better understood etc less of this occurred, but I think I also learnt/was forced to drop some of my pride. These days, I feel more competent in that environment and more safe (as I better trust and understand coach means best). I think dropping defensiveness, at least for me, is figuring out how to get to this place sooner- because there are always challenges that can feel threatening- they just come from different places.

[Goon]

@Isone Olivier run DMCs

Hey Frankie, I'm going to take an alternative perspective to the above. I'd like to think when I make mistakes I always listen and am open minded (and sometimes I am), but I also think when I make mistakes I can feel stupid and take things quite personally. (Just ask @Paul Faix hahaha). I think as a teacher and coach, when I frame situations like this I do my best to sit "on the same side" as the person I am working with and positioning myself this way means it is "us vs the problem" rather than me vs them. I do this because I know how easy it is to take things more personally than they're meant. Hope this helps!

Sure have! I feel like it's part of the human condition and if you haven't you're probably not self-aware enough to realise. I mean, who doesn't love having a reason to explain yourself out of being where you might like to be.