My first attempt at an oil portrait—not exactly what I hoped for, but every stroke feels like a step forward.

Today i went to the Rijksmuseum with my 15 year old son. We are very lucky to be able to visit several great museums in and around Amsterdam. The Rijksmuseum is my favorite. I really enjoyed being there together, talking about what we love in the museum. Today I saw a number of wonderful statues, catching light at interesting angles. And of course my favorite painting of all (and that’s saying something in a place with several rembrandts, von goghs, Vermeers, well you get the drift): Benares by Marius Bauer. Gets better every time I see it. ❤️

I wanted to ask whether anyone else out there can spend day after day drawing horrible faces before something you are pleased with finally appears on the paper. I think I've ripped up more pages this week than I have in the last 4 years ( not something I do really) - until at last I managed to draw this one. ❤️ I'm trying to stay positive and be "interested" in how I can be so inconsistent all of a sudden - and am keen to hear how other folk manage to get through a patch like this.

For the past three weeks, I wouldn’t say I had a rough time, but my days weren’t the best either. Before that, I was working on my 100 heads challenge and reached a point where I started questioning myself and my skills. For context, I usually work two days a week in a warehouse—it’s a nice job, not too hard. But I ran short on money, so I decided to get a second job until uni starts. The second warehouse job was physically exhausting—I had to lift heavy weights—and on top of that, the people there weren’t very kind. Even though I knew it was only temporary, I felt guilty for not painting. I missed drawing and painting so much. In the end, this experience made me realize I shouldn’t overthink things so much. I just need to paint or draw because I love it, no matter the outcome. I finished this portrait study today, and I am so happy I finally painted.

So I thought I would say some things about sanguine and how I made this. I used a conte pencil. I tried others but they usually break very easily. And a paper stump. Canson mi teintes. For bigger work you can use a derwent chunky in sanguine. Sanguine is one of my favorite ways to draw. It smudges easily and can get pretty intense. And as I am writing this facebook banned me again for absolutely nothing. Great.