It's really hard to describe in words what i am going through because there are many layers. At first it's really hard to look into my eyes and say the four statements. I find the more i try to say it the more I hate myself. But then as i go deeper within and FEEL what i'm really sorry for, and what I want to forgive myself for, the hatred projections disappear. But it's kind of trippy because i still can't express using words what exactly i'm sorry for, or what i want to forgive myself for. Words and logic just fail. I've tried to describe it. Forgive myself for abandoning myself maybe? But nothing i think of feels right and instead just pushes me back toward hatred even. Something I've noticed is that there has to be a thing you are sorry for. So to be sorry for something, a wrong has to be committed. And when i tap into this and meet the part of me that "wrongs", i become more centered and go back to being able to say the 4 phrases without hating myself. But as soon as I try to describe the "wrong" or thing in question, the feeling disappears. So for now it remains just an energy or feeling. So weird. Appreciate any insight. Or am i just doing it wrong?

Has this happened to anyone before? You are in a state where you notice EVERYTHING is an attached meaning, even the smallest things. For instance, one second you think someone looks intimidating, and then the next second you don't - you catch in real-time the projection energy that was likely a result of a conglomerate of past experiences. I feel like the script of my life is being rewritten at a microscopic level. I am beginning to doubt my version of reality lol. Help.