It’s New Year’s Eve an I can’t help but to reflect on this year this year sucked I met the strongest and the most broken defeated version of myself I can’t stop thinking about my ex and how cruel she was in the way she left me and despite all the pain and ruin she put me through the way she just moved on quickly erased my existence from her life despite all the intimate and close moments we shared the laughs the highs and lows I don’t hate her I’m still madly in love with even though I wish to not be it would be easier to hate her but I can’t and even though I know she will never come back nor do I want her back I wish she never had left she taught me the most painful lesson ever I don’t know that I’ll ever trust again or love again because even if she doesn’t want it she still has my heart and I hate that I don’t know what to feel I want to leave her behind in 2025 but I feel like I’m going to carry her into the new year I miss her terribly but I know I have to keep moving forward

24 days since she discarded me. We blocked each other on Monday night on everything. I still think the worst thing she ever did was breaking up with me on facetime and didn’t even give me real closure. How crappy of a person do you have to be to do that to someone? She was also very rude after we broke up with each other. I miss the old her so much, the old her was so sweet, loving, gentle, kind, etc. I hate this.

When we broke up, I blocked her on social media, but today I felt a temptation to look back. I ended up checking her account on a friend’s phone, and I saw something that hurt: a photo of her in a new relationship she entered shortly after we ended. It reminded me that even when we know something no longer serves us, the pull to look back can still be strong. For me, it raised this question: how do you resist the temptation to look back at what God is clearly calling you to move on from? I’ve been thinking about Scripture, especially the story of Lot’s wife in Genesis; how looking back kept her tied to what she was meant to leave behind. I don’t see that story as condemnation, but as a warning about attachment to what God is asking us to release. I’d love to hear how others here deal with that tension; practically, spiritually, or through Scripture. What helps you keep moving forward when your heart wants to look back?

So I was in a relationship with my ex for 3 years everything was perfect I thought she was my soulmate I wanted to marry this girl I was super in love with her trusted her without a doubt this past august I took her out for her birthday everything was perfect she always told me she would never leave me that she loved me that she was happy with me even on the day I took her out for her birthday shortly after she became distant and kinda cold till one day she stopped sharing her location with me so I messaged her and asked her if she was leaving me she texted me back the next day a whole paragraph basically saying she wasn’t happy in the relationship and that she wanted to be alone saying her mental health wasn’t good and it was cowardly of her to do it over text and basically saying how I didn’t deserve to get told like that because I have always been loyal and good to her well the same day I found out she was with someone else and the month after she got pregnant by that dude and shortly after married him the whole thing hit my like a truck it was like someone took my heart out and stomped on it I’ve been going to a therapist and clinging on to the lord heavily but my spark is gone the first couple months were hell and I’ve just started to feel a little like myself but I can’t shake off the feeling that I was betrayed I trusted her I gave her everything I was there for her when she didn’t have the strength to believe in herself it basically feels like I built her up for someone else I’m a little better but there are times we’re I can’t seem to move on