I hate myself. And when my friends(great friends btw) tried to confront me about why i walked home 50 minutes i disconnected the calls, ghosted and hid because i was too scared to face that fear of hearing them talk about it. only after a therapy session my therapist encouraged me to talk about my emotions. but i just want to be good enough for this self hate to stop and do the things i need to do but cant stay consistent with. I also got a lot of regrets like not playing sports at a young age or whatever because now im an unathletic twink with no status or skill or purpose in the physical realm. and its too late now im in 10th grade. i just wanna dump on this community since u all are kinda like minded. ill keep working out and shit ill just keep trying to be better and better yknow? its just hard i am so guilty and so hateful of myself and just sometimes express that hate outward towards my family which i feel bad for. im someone who deserves everything thats coming to me. i created this life both knowingly and unknowingly. i cant keep running from my problems. i just wish i could actually fucking change i hate this shit i hate being the same weak person i have been my whole life. sorry for the dump and the unarticulated thoughts id really appreciate a response from a real human though. thanks, much love.

Hello Everyone ! I just finished Dark Souls Remastered my first ever Souls game and now I'm thinking to continue the series which Souls game should I play Next ?

I am inconsistent with my self improvement. The loneliness in my path kicks in. I know that to not be lonely I need to feel secure. And the best way for me to do that is to improve myself and gain social standing. I don't talk to anyone except for my therapist about this IRL. I hate who I was and who I am. I feel like I would love who I am becoming. But not being where I want to be hurt me all the time. And I hate myself whenever I slow down and get inconsistent. I wish I could be consistent and be physically and mentally stronger. I want to be someone who perseveres. I want to be someone else. I know who I want to be it feels so out of reach. Sometimes I pretend I live in that world. I imagine that shit all the time. I got friends but they don't get it. I don't think they will. I'm not a victim. I did this to myself. This is the life I created. I am 16 btw but I'm not saying that to excuse my actions.

Brand new here and a first-time DS1 player. Solaire has quickly become a comfort character for me just for his mere presence by the bonfire, companionship during the toughest fights, and his encouraging spirit. But upon arriving in Lost Izalith, he seems be falling into despair himself. Despite helping others across their journeys, he isn't finding what he's looking for. He desperately seeks his sun, but is losing hope in finding it. It reminds me too much of myself. I still haven't gotten over finishing college nearly two years later. There were dreams and goals that I chased. I studied to become a musician. I made friends and acquaintances with a number of people. And one day, it was all gone. Everyone moved their separate ways. I went back home, and without realizing, moved forward in life with no ambition to drive my decisions. I settled for a steady job that works fine for me, but rewards no fulfillment. Having lost those people and opportunities has ended up consuming me with apathy and a lack of direction. It's made me extremely lonely. I still live with my parents just living day to day without even the desire to tell them these things. I'm terrified of disappointing the people I love, which only fuels this cruel cycle of isolation. I feel exiled from everything I once had. I don't enjoy writing music anymore. Much like Solaire, I feel like I've spent so much time pursuing a sun out of reach, that I don't know what to chase anymore. I know in the past I even was a great source of help, humor, inspiration, and comfort to others on their own paths, but feel like I too am succumbing to madness through losing myself in the process. Does anyone else relate?

I mean like what is the thing or things in your life that you know you should be doing, but for some reason you just can't? You can be as specific or non-specific as you like, but I'd genuinely like to hear.