@Tiffany Gaines The amount of gratitude I have for you and your abilities to guide me to the buried thing keeps compounding. I thought I knew it all and had it figured out. Im glad I felt the edge and worked through it. When it swelled, broke open, and came out, I was scarred because I didn't have time to sit with it and process it. When actually, I just needed to feel it and let it come out raw.

I promise I won't wrote a book every time! LOL BEFORE IT HAPPENED: DAILY INTENTION Remember who you were. SOUNDTRACK: The Awakening This song reminds me of my birth and early years as a child. For one, because the beat is sampled from Age Of Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In, which came out the year I was born, and I was born under the astrological sign of Aquarius in 1969. My mother was heavy into Astrology and used to always call me “My Little Aquarius”, so I knew early on what I was. I actually felt like the song was about me, a few years later the stage musical HAIR came out. I must have been about three or four years old. We went to see it as a family. I don’t know who my parents knew, but we sat up in the Producer’s booth and watch it from there. I remember the nude dancers dancing under the red light. I really felt like the world was my oyster and I was it’s V.I.P. I remember the week I turned 4 years old. My birthday is February 16. I remember a few days before my birthday my older brother coming home from school with all the Valentine’s Day cards he got. I remember looking at them and saying out loud ‘When I look at these cards I keep seeing birthday cakes in my eyes”….that’s because I had already assimilated that day to my birthday. Then that night, my dad came home with a bog velvet heart shaped box of candy for my mother. Somehow it still made ME feel special. Perhaps, unconsciously because I felt safe in a loving family, but also because I still felt like it was MY day too, so whatever was done on Valentine’s Day also pertained to me. Then to top it all off, I remember walking outside the back door on my 4th birthday, and I was greeted by a bunch of kids sitting on a picnic blanket on the grass yelling “SURPRISE!” . They had thrown me a surprise party. These weren’t even my friends because I was only 4…these were my older brother and his friends, but my parents has set it up. We all sat around eating cake, ice cream and drinking juice, and once again, my heart was overwhelmed with a joy I never felt because they were all there for my sake.

First day of something I’ve never said out loud “ I’M NOW FOCUSING ON JUST ME “ !!!

"Music can change the world because it can change people." — Bono Don't stop creating because you're still learning. Every artist starts somewhere, and every step forward brings you closer to the vision you're building. Keep going. We've got this!😉

Don't judge me yall...but I remember once quietly wishing to myself that I could loose my sense of feel, so that I wouldn’t have to hurt anymore. Unconsciously I believe that I programmed myself to make it come true because I’ve had moments where I should feel something; sadness, remorse, sympathy, and I literally has NO feeling, except NUMBNESS (if that's even a feeling). I mentioned in the live that I now struggle with being in touch with my emotion, so now having NO feelings is working against me. Therefore, I couldn't find the rawness in my lyrics....now I understand why. - Day 1 The Thing I NEVER Said - DAILY INTENTION Telling the truth to myself: I still harbor lots of resentment. - SOUNDTRACK: The song that tells the deepest truth about myself is called Murder Campaign. It was a revenge song written when I was still straddling the fence on how I wanted to come in that season AFTER already making my mark as a gospel artist. - DAILY ACTION The one sentence I've never said out loud is: I’ve entertained some very destructive deeds in my head against certain people from about 8 years old to well into my adulthood, including recently" (the recent ones were more so just saying certain things to people that could cause destruction, so I guess that's an improvement versus before). I will rewrite the song, and in so doing, I will redirect my outcome. - AFFIRMATION “The truth loses power over me the moment I tell it.” - My NEW RESOLVE: I will replace my destructive thoughts in my head with the following scriptures. Roman 8:13 – "By the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body..." Colossians 3:5 – "Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature..." - I have never said this out loud to anybody on the planet in my life. As a Pastor feeling this way...it's kind of like "woa", to some people, I guess. I actually heard the Spirit of The Lord speak to me some years back. He said "If you don't write those hooks, you're going to wind up in jail". I never knew the relationship, since I don't do crimes anymore. The only crime I still felt prone to is the M word. God knew that my own healing would happen first through my music, because only through this process was I challenged to dig this deep within myself. This program is the blessing God knew I needed.