I've left it a bit long this time, the longer I go without sitting with psychedelics the more time my amygdala, the part of me designed to keep me safe, tries to convince me that delving into the unknown is a terrible idea. The idea of poking my head beneath the murky waters of everyday consciousness fills me with dread, yet I know different, I know that if i take that jump, ill be better for it. I had been building up to this, doing a few micro doses here and there to help soothe the quivering part of me thats afraid, bolstering my courage for this moment. "Its only 40mg" I tell myself, "it's okay". I hold the vial containing the suspended 4-AcO and close my eyes taking a deep breath. I pull up an intention of well being and hold that feeling in my chest. Taking the lid off, I drink the lot. The onset is rapid, I knew this would be the case. Within 10 minutes a feeling of "other" creeps up through my body. Not heavy like mushrooms, or electric like LSD, but a warmth spreading through my legs and abdomen and into my chest. I look to Tiff, shes on her phone texting, I tell her "I can feel it already" The sound of my voice is loud in my ears. She looks up at me "Are you okay?" I nod. The usual mental chatter has gone quiet as if my inner monologuing are birds in a forest, sensing a predator. The quiet unnerves me, the sound of my breath that of a deep rushing river, the gentle babbling of my chickens outside clear as a bell. I walk over to the windowsill and peer out onto the yard. A goose, Pam, looks up at me, his single eye seeming to penetrate my being. I smile. I know this, I am open. The warmth spreads through my legs to my toes, fingers and head. I can't help but tense my muscles, marvelling at the strength that I feel within them. I feel a "message", a "intuition", a "knowing". "This is your body" it seems to say "Feel its power" I smile again as the once deeply engraved pattern of physical inadequacy is challenged. It creeps up occasionally, when im stressed or tired, I hadn't realised i had been feeling that way. admonishing myself in secret for my own perceived physical imperfections. In its stead now, only love and gratitude.

Hi Guys, So to make this more of a community than just me ranting into the void I have decided to introduce Tiers! Tier 1: Free tier, this will allow folks to like the posts and join the community and ask questions on 1 QnA a week Tier 2: Standard Tier, $4. This Tier currently gives you access to everything. Tier 3: VIP, $15. This currently just mirrors Standard tier but I think i'll expand this so only members from this tier can direct message me at any time for questions, clarifications etc. I also plan on making classes/courses, perhaps this will only be for VIP? Unsure as of yet. All advice is welcome and sought after so please don't be shy, I want to make this place as good as it can be and mirror what you, want. All those who joined PRIOR to this article have been bumped to VIP for being early supporters :) Thank you.

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