One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is that God will remove people from your life, and sometimes those people are not strangers, friends, or relationships—sometimes they’re family. That kind of pain cuts deeper because you’re taught that family is supposed to be forever. You expect love, support, loyalty, and understanding from the people who share your blood. So when the hurt comes from family, it leaves a different kind of wound. It leaves questions, tears, disappointment, and a heartbreak that is hard to explain to anyone who hasn’t lived through it. For a long time, I blamed myself for relationships that fell apart. I carried guilt for things that weren’t my fault. I stayed silent to keep the peace, accepted treatment I didn’t deserve, and held on to people simply because of history and blood ties. I kept hoping things would change, hoping people would see my heart, hoping that love would be enough to fix what was broken. But God showed me that not every relationship is meant to continue just because it’s familiar. Sometimes we hold on to people because of who they used to be, while God is trying to show us who they are now. Looking back at my past, I can see God’s hand in every separation, every disappointment, and every painful goodbye. What felt like abandonment was often protection. What felt like rejection was often redirection. There were people I cried over losing that I now thank God for removing. There were situations I begged Him to fix that He chose to end because He knew they were destroying my peace. Even when I couldn’t understand it, God was protecting my spirit from things my heart was still attached to. Today, I carry no hatred. I carry lessons. I carry scars, but I also carry strength. I’ve learned that loving people doesn’t mean allowing them to hurt you. Being family doesn’t give anyone the right to disrespect your peace, your boundaries, or your worth. Sometimes loving people means praying for them from a distance. Sometimes healing means letting go. And sometimes God’s greatest blessing is removing people you thought you couldn’t live without so He can show you that with Him, you can survive anything.

As I sit and reflect on my life, I realize how far You’ve brought me. There were seasons when I felt overwhelmed, misunderstood, and unsure of what was ahead. There were moments when I questioned myself, my strength, and even my purpose. But through it all, You never left me. Even in the hard times, You were shaping me. Every lesson, every tear, every closed door was preparing me for something greater. I may not have understood it then, but I see it now — You were protecting me, redirecting me, and strengthening me. I feel Your blessings in my life. Not just in material things, but in peace. In growth. In wisdom. In the way I handle situations differently than I used to. In the strength I didn’t know I had. In the confidence that is quietly building inside of me. You are teaching me to trust Your timing and not rush what You are carefully aligning. I’m learning that blessings don’t always come loud and flashy. Sometimes they come as clarity. Sometimes they come as distance from what no longer serves me. Sometimes they come as patience, healing, and a new mindset. And for that, I am grateful. Thank You for protecting me from things I thought I wanted but didn’t need. Thank You for opening doors that are meant for me. Thank You for reminding me that I am chosen, covered, and cared for. I don’t know everything about my future, but I know it’s in Your hands. And that gives me peace.

The guilt and shame I had to swallow Was never really mine to chew. It came wrapped in family history, Passed down like a curse no one knew how to break. Friends watched, some stayed silent, Some walked away when I needed them loud. I learned early how to smile through damage, How to shrink myself to fit into their comfort. I felt like nothing— Like trash swept into corners, Used, blamed, and forgotten, Taught to believe I was the problem. Hurt lived in my chest like a permanent bruise, Tender to every word, every look. I carried wounds no one asked about, Patched myself up with survival and silence. But even damaged things have stories, And even trash has weight when it’s been thrown too many times. I am not what broke me, I am what endured when breaking was easier.

@Nicol Mathis thank you and love you too and I’m glad you could vent to this situation as well we got this 💪🏾💕🙌🏾

@Nicol Mathis 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾