I once had a job where I'd go home in tears more often than not, and this memory triggers an important lesson in leadership (i.e. how not to be). This was an entry-level job right after I graduated from college, as a receptionist at a privately owned insurance brokerage. There were rules that came with this job: one was that the desk was never to be unmanned, not for a moment (even when there was a birthday... imagine how that felt, to be left out of celebrations). Another was that this role came in 30 minutes before opening to refill printers, wash cups/mugs (i.e., take them from desks, wash them, and return them), and handle all the filing. One morning, I wasn't able to finish all the filing; I had three or four bright yellow folders left to file in a partner's office right next to my desk. When this partner saw that I had these few files left, she became angry and demanded that I stay late to file them. There was neither understanding nor flexibility. After experiencing many moments like this, this was the straw. We had staggered lunches, hers was before mine. While she was away, I went into her office and took the five minutes needed to complete the filing. Then I went for my lunch and quit right after. For a long time, I blamed myself. I thought maybe I wasn't cut out for that industry, or that I wasn't good or fast enough. But now I know better. Because that wasn't leadership, that was control. That experience has stayed with me for a long time, and it’s a big part of why I do what I do now. Leadership that people want to follow doesn’t come from a title, a position, or demanding that everyone stay in line. It comes from the behaviours your team sees in you every day: how you respond, how you listen, how you make decisions, how you handle tension, and how people feel after interacting with you. I’d love to hear from you: who was the best or hardest leader you ever worked with, and what did they do that stuck with you? Drop it in the comments. These stories are such a useful way for us to learn from each other.