@Samantha Strom Hi. You probably feel alone in dealing with this. I can only imagine the feeling of guilt and shame that is bombarding you. The more you sit with this feeling, the worse you feel. Submit your burdens and feelings to God. Talk to him and just let him know how you feel. He will give you peace. Remember, "the Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." Also, I was doing my Bible reading today and it was from Romans 10 that talks about salvation. Verse 10 says "For it is with the heart that you believe and are justified, and with the mouth that you profess your faith and are saved." I encourage you to find rest in this truth, knowing that you are justified in Christ. Don't let your emotions tell you otherwise. Have a Spirit-filled day!