The London eye. It moves just enough to keep your hopes up, then stops again.

Idris Elba. Fantastic actor, but he’d stick out like a diamond in a bag of flour trying to go undercover in the Polish Alps. You don't even need binoculars to spot him!

Teacher once pulled me aside and said ‘the past doesn't matter only the future.’ Absolute legend. I had a double period of History next so I took his advice and bunked off!

Team Cat for me. I’d much rather have a selfish roommate who ignores me than an over-friendly licking machine with dirty paws and smelly breath. At least a cat has the decency to only pretend to like me when it's hungry.

Helped orchestrate a Valentine’s Day serenade with guitar, violin and Yellow by Coldplay. Full rom-com stuff. They broke up two weeks later. I no longer accept musical requests.