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Owned by Devin

Enjoy knowing you're ready for your child's next phase. Stop winging it. Start seeing the patterns that keep you one step behind.

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117 contributions to The Proactive Parent Community
They know what you said, but not what you meant
Tell me if this sounds familiar... A mother tells her son, "go pack your backpack" In her mind, that means: -Notebook inside -Lunchbox inside -Water bottle inside -Etc... But her son doesn't see the same picture in his head. So he puts his notebook inside the backpack, then wanders off to play again. A few minutes later, she sees the lunchbox and water bottle still sitting on the counter. She says, "I thought I told you to pack your backpack." He says, "I did" Now they're both standing there confused. Can you relate to this scene? I've noticed some parents lose patience in moments like this...thinking that kids are being lazy, disrespectful, or just not listening. But sometimes the real issue is that kids don't have the same expectations as their parents. I call this Finish Line Fog™. Finish Line Fog is when "done" looks obvious to the parent, but the idea of "done" is still not clear to the child. Kids can't consistently hit a target they don't clearly see. So here's one practice you can try today. Before your child starts a task, ask them: “What will it look like when this task is done?” Then help them name two or three visible signs. For example: “The toys are inside the basket.” “The books are back on the shelf.” “The floor is clear enough to walk across.” This practice gives you both the same clear picture and makes the finish-line look less foggy. --- Think about one responsibility in your home... Can your child clearly show you what done looks like, or does the complete picture still live inside your head? If you've ever been confused about why kids don't do what you asked them, then the root cause might be Finish Line Fog™ But that's only 1 of 4 patterns I've seen, that keeps parents confused and in an endless cycle of reminders. So I've created a tool to help you uncover these hidden patterns before they get worse as your child grows and responsibilities get bigger. It's called The Responsibility Readiness Check. It's a 9 question assessment that takes about 3 minutes.
Poll
2 members have voted
They know what you said, but not what you meant
1 like • 3d
@Mary Nunaley Terrific! When does your summit wrap up?
2 likes • 3d
@Mary Nunaley Got it. Talk to you then 📅
Why kids procrastinate. One of many reasons.
Grayson was hypnotized by his favorite show. Suddenly, Mrs. Gray walks in and says, "cut the TV off. It's time to eat" She expected him to move immediately, especially since she made his favorite lasagna 😋 But he doesn't move immediately, so she tells him again "cut the TV off. I said it's time for dinner" The show is about to end in 5 minutes. So he stands up, but still lingers, trying to catch the last little bit. At first, Mrs. Gray thought he would come running to the kitchen with a big smile on his face. But when he didn't...she started feeling some type of way. A few minutes later, they both ended up frustrated as she returned demanding that he cut the TV off NOW! Can you relate to this scene? I've noticed that moments like these usually stem from expectations not being known ahead of time. I call this a Cue Gap™ The Cue Gap usually shows up during sudden transitions. So here's one practice to try: Set the expectation before the transition time. Timers can be good, but try building transitions around a rhythm your child already knows. Play time Work time Alone time Dinner time Whenever possible, let daily activities follow a predictable sequence. Of course some days will be different, but try to make most days the same. The important thing is that everybody knows what to expect and when to expect it. One predictable transition. One predictable expectation. Think about a transition that causes repeated reminders in your home. Does your child know what's expected ahead of time? Or does the transition start when you announce it? If you've ever been frustrated with reminding your child over and over again...the root cause might be a Cue Gap™ But that's only 1 of 4 patterns I've seen, that keeps parents stuck in an endless cycle of reminder loops. So I created a tool to help you uncover these hidden patterns before they get worse as your child grows. It's called The Responsibility Readiness Check. It's a 9 question assessment that takes about 3 minutes.
Poll
2 members have voted
Why kids procrastinate. One of many reasons.
1 like • 3d
@Stacy Casson Thank you. I agree. I do the same thing.
3 likes • 3d
@Wendy Gray That makes sense. Everybody has differences, but also similarities. Life gets easier when you know what patterns to look for.
Why kids struggle with being humble
Yesterday, I was encouraged by this mother's humility to apologize to her son. Because kids watch what we do, more than what we say. But you already know that. So this is just a reminder to be the good example you want them to follow 😊
3 likes • Jun 18
@Oddysey Campbell Thanks for your feedback. Like @Ashley Pettaway always says, "Parents and kids are on the same team." The sooner we can put ourselves in each others shoes, the better.
2 likes • 4d
@Christina Jones Hey Christina! It's good to hear from you my friend 😊
"Why do I have to keep reminding them?"
Yesterday, I told you about a pattern I've noticed across many families. I call it The Reminder Loop. It's a cycle that usually looks something like this: You ask your child to do something, and eventually it gets done. But the task never truly transfers from your head to their habits. So the next morning, afternoon, or bedtime...you gotta remind them all over again. And after a while, you start wondering: "I know they know what to do, so why do I have to keep reminding them?" Here's what I've noticed... The Reminder Loop usually boils down to one of four patterns: 1-Sometimes kids don't have a clear picture of what "done" looks like. 2-Sometimes there's no system that tells them when to start. 3-Sometimes parents take over the task because it feels faster and easier 4-And sometimes, kids wait to see if parents really meant what they said...before taking you seriously the first time. These patterns can look similar on the surface, but each one needs a different response. So I created a tool to help parents spot these patterns before they get worse as your child grows up. The tool is called The Responsibility Readiness Check. It's a 9 question assessment that takes about 3 minutes. It'll give you immediate results, and it's free. Tap here to take 👇 The Responsibility Readiness Check https://skoo.ly/reminder-loop Your results will include one simple next step to help your kid be more responsible with less reminders from you.
"Why do I have to keep reminding them?"
1 like • 5d
@Oddysey Campbell
0 likes • 5d
@Wendy Gray I know your kids are grown now but you might still get some value from taking the assessment. Consider checking it out if you want
A Beautiful Find on YouTube.... Nalah and Her Dad
I came across this the other day in The YouTube Algorithm, and it speaks to my heart so many levels. As a fellow steward of child, supporting our children in developing their gifts, that inner dog or toughness and knowing when to activate and when to leave it off. Also, if I recall, in the sessions that I have connected with you all, I know there are some moms with athletes and young men with gifts, and this could be helpful for them. If you are not currently showcasing or capturing video of their gifts, it is something you may want to start doing. Of course, never wear yourself out. At the same time, creating a body of work for them or showcasing their gifts can serve not only as an external help. I feel when we go back and look at ourselves and things that we have overcome or what we have accomplished, it can be INCREDIBLY edifying. Let me know you all's thought. Peace, love, and Progress. Nalah didn’t want to compete today https://youtube.com/shorts/2WwZj_7QYv0?si=nyL4UsSxWhElzDvc
2 likes • 6d
Sometimes all it takes is somebody who has your back wither you win or not. Making an effort to try still counts for progress. Thanks for sharing @Ashley Jasper Styles
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Devin Trent
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@devin-trent-1371
Helping parents be ready for your child's next phase so you stop feeling like your falling behind. Follow me here on Skool. I'll follow you back.

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Joined Aug 21, 2025
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