A friend of mine suggested I attend an upcoming dance. I haven’t been to a dance since the passing of my wife. It felt odd to even think about that, but I decided to do it for myself. No particular expectations. This was an occasion when the elements of style came together for me at the right time. My denim, my shirt, all a nice clean fit. All topped with a great fragrance. The dance was freestyle. As the night picked up, I found myself as part of a trio with a lady and another guy. We danced, we separated, we migrated back together. There were times I danced alone; times I found myself dancing with several women. And a time when I was doing a side-to-side shuffle with this tall guy who put his arm on my shoulder while he held a drink with his other hand. It was all fun. I couldn’t stop dancing! I didn’t want to stop dancing! It was like I was having a catharsis! I danced for two and a half hours non-stop. Something I haven’t done since I was in my 20’s. The next day was peaceful. I was stiff, which was something that didn’t happen in my 20’s. I reflected that elevating my style isn’t just about how I look but is intertwined with my health. I couldn’t have done this without my health. I know there are predispositions, genetics, etc. that can make maintaining my health a challenge, but I’ll continue to put in the effort. Style and health are important to me and I want to be ready for the next adventure that comes along as I go through my journey of self-rediscovery.

I heard many times on RMRS that men should consider getting a manicure. I don’t know why this time that suggestion stayed with me. Perhaps it reminded me of my late wife getting her manicure; my daughter and nieces plotting to get theirs. I knew the time had come for me to enter a zone of discomfort. I checked out some websites, but none mentioned men’s manicures, so I called one and asked. I think the lady who answered the phone was surprised I even asked. I later found out just about all these salons do men’s manicures. They just don’t always mention it on their websites. The lady on the phone said come on by, so I went. When I got there the lady asked me what I wanted, and I said a men’s manicure. She smiled and told me to sit. She could tell I was nervous. To my amazement she rolls out this cart packed with all sorts of tools, sanding files, towels, bottles of who knows what, etc. She asked me how long I wanted my nails. I never thought about that and told her to do whatever she thought. She got to work. Clipping, sanding, polishing, buffing etc. She had this strange tool removing skin that I don’t where that skin came from. After some time had passed, I thought it was over but to my astonishment she started wrapping my arm in hot towels. After a few minutes she removed the towels and then applied some cream on my arms and proceeded to give me a hand and arm massage! Wow! After it was all over, I left so so relaxed and my nails looked nice. I never thought a manicure would become a part of me but now it’s a part of the rediscovered me.

A strange thing happened during my search to revamp my look. I came across a fragrance specialty shop in the mall. I had no intention to shop for fragrances, but I stopped and looked at the window display and was intrigued. So many bottles that looked like fine jewelry. Though I was uncomfortable going in, I went inside anyway. Getting past uncomfortable has been part of my self-discipline as I go through this journey of self-rediscovery. In all my 37 years of marriage, fragrances came as gifts from my wife. The fragrances are nice. Now as a widower, I’m on my own. I asked the shop assistant how do you decide among so many fragrances? He asked “what do you like?” and named a few -spicy, fresh, woody, etc. I reacted with this bewildered look. He was courteous and suggested a few. A spray on my left arm and a spray on my right. He said give it some time to react with my skin. Off I went among the mall crowd sniffing my arms. As time passed, I found I was drawn more to the fragrance on my left arm than my right. When I got home the scent on my left arm became my favorite. The scent was different from anything I had. I went back the next week and bought it and have not regretted it. I now use it every chance I get. This fragrance is now part of my special collection of fragrances which remind me of my precious past and the rediscovered me.

Never stop being a good person... even if a thousand bad things happen to you

Well, I started my adventure to elevate my style by putting on my usual outfit and looking into the mirror. After I finished laughing, I decided I would no longer press my collars with my thumb and index finger. I’m going to get an iron and do it right. My shopping experience for new pants hasn’t gone well. The guy at Nordstrom was very patient, but after trying over 7 pair of pants I came out empty handed. Same with dress shoes. Found shoes I like but didn’t have it in my size. I had much better luck at Macy’s and found new pants, but the selection was limited. Wish me luck on my search for shirts.