I’ve Been Struggling… and I Didn’t Want to Say It
Lately i have been down. i mean, really down. despondent and desperately searching for answers. I don't know if its just me or the first half of the year hasn't exactly panned out the way a lot of us hoped and prayed it would. For those of you who don’t already know, I pastor a church while growing my business full-time. And the truth is… carrying both at the same time can get very lonely. There’s the pressure of keeping the lights on at work.Providing for my family. Showing up strong for the people God has entrusted to me. And some days i have got to be honest with you, it’s just a lot. There are mornings I wake up and anxiety is already waiting for me.Days where I’d honestly rather not step outside… because of the weight of situations I’m dealing with some of which I can’t even share here. I was discussing and encouraging one of my disciples (who i'd genuinely consider a son) on a situation he was dealing with. it was financial and he needed desperate help to sort something time sensitive out. he came over and we got talking and i proceeded to praying for him and encouraging him. Before he left, he said 'Pastor, is this easy for you because you do not have worries or troubles'. I laughed in my heart so loud because just one hour before he walked in, my wife and I were sitting with calculators… trying to figure out how we were going to meet a very real, very pressing need.. I responded to him saying 'its easy for me because i have learned to trust the same God i have taught you to trust' I know there's not a lot of us on this community but i feel safe enough to be real here. Matt 6:33 till date still remains my favourite Scriptures on days when even the future seems bleak and i have got no where else to turn. i remember on days like this that beyond money, ideas and progress, i have the spirit of God inside me. Thats the greatest gift money cant buy. So yes, we all made plans and some of those plans would have to take a back seat for now and others have been greatly set back because of perculiar challanges you may be facing in your job, marriage or finances. all i want to remind you is that we still serve a faithful God irrespecitve of our challenges. i know it sounds elementary and basic but simple messages like this could be the reason why someone wakes up tomorrow choosing to fight harder!