every day is getting easier the more i'm learning the more it opens my eyes .. chat cbt has given me a great understanding and i now see more and more it wasn't me!! why it hurts etc the more i see its not a life i want and what a clown he is and now i have some visuals and they really make me laugh! 🤣🤣🤣 bye felicia

If your avoidant popped up right now with “Hey stranger… what are you up to?” What would your first instinct be? A. Ignore it and protect your peace B. Open it immediately but pretend you didn’t C. Type a response, delete it, retype it, overthink, close the app D. Reply calmly while internally screaming E. Block, mute, sage the phone, drink water F. Something else (explain 👀) No judgment. No right answer. We’ve all been every option at some point 😂 Drop your letter below - and if you want, tell us why. Let’s see how healed we’re really feeling today.

I still need to type out a post about what transpired on Tuesday night but that will have to wait due to the fact that I got hit hard with my MRI results… so I got a call pertaining to my results at 3:24 yesterday. I have officially been diagnosed with multilevel degenerative disease at 27 years old. It’s not very common for someone at my age to have this condition. It’s mild but it will change everything for me… And it’s truly overwhelming. So I instantly called my avoidant ex. We spent months together so he was fully aware that there was something wrong with my neck and spine. We both knew something wasn’t right; I’m in pain every day. No matter what. So he was the first person I thought of telling the news. I needed comfort. I felt alone and just overwhelmed with emotions. Finding out that I was right. Finding out that I wasn’t crazy and could feel my body just screaming on the inside. That my intuition was right… so I asked him to come over. Mind you; he told me he contemplated and thought hard about calling me back, and even coming over, but he still did. And honestly, our night wasn’t horrible. We actually spent quality time together and had fun which isn’t normally the case. We usually ran errands together or went out to eat but never did something together; we played Mario kart and watched a show… But it was due to the fact that I was emotional over my results. Our relationship is just in limbo and done for the time being. He wants space and to be alone and so I have to respect that. But deep down Ik he cares; that he is scared, numb, and hurt from everything that has happened between us and even in his past. So I have to respect that. I just know deep down he knows what he had in front of him. He knows that I was loyal, honest, loving, truthful, cared, respected and loved him unconditionally but until he finds himself and heals; there’s nothing more I can say or do to help him. Even though I’m hurting in all aspects; like absolutely no joke about it…. I’ve done everything I can to show him who truly and genuinely cared about him. And I won’t be waiting either, which he fully knows that. I’m just so hurt, so sad, so lost in all of the news/what has transpired and I don’t know how to feel about it.

Sooo , I sent the avoidant a paragraph as follows( he has been reposting petty garbage about us n pretending to be oh so hurt ) : Hey S, I really appreciate all you've done for me over this almost last two years. I really didn't want everything to end up ugly but they did. I will no longer be engaging seeing as I haven't received much of a response these last few days. wishing you all the success in art, school and what ever endeavors life brings to you:) happy holidays, god bless and take care. Which they said to me : Good morning I know I have given you the dissatisfaction of my silence and I’ve been very avoidant when it came to constructing this message telling you how I feel about it all truth be told I just want to be done with everything and not having to confront it, but knowing good and well deep down that I was going to have to confront it at some point so truth be told I don’t want to have another conversation. There is no other conversation that needs to be had. What’s done is done. I apologize on my end for how things turned out to be. I apologize for making everything ugly. It really is on my end. I apologize for stupid decisions that I’ve made over the course of or dealing and outside of our dealings as well and I just want you to understand that you are warranted to do everything that you feel the need to do. I am in full support of whatever you feel is right but I know on my end I am completely checked out with everything and damn near everyone so I hope you have an amazing year at UCF. I hope your future endeavors regarding kinesiology the health sports and exercise science propel you to success that you have never seen before, and I hope you achieve all the stuff all of the goals that you set your mind to so I hope you have a great rest of your day This is all I have to say take care