Thank you!!😃❤️

Again you’re describing just another aspect of what I’ve been experiencing this week. Remember that poem that I posted in the comments in one of your other posts just the other day? It was so raw and dark, but had an uplifting twist at the end. I read it to him before I finished it so he did not initially hearthe uplifting twist. He only got to hear the dark negative aspects of the poem and.he literally got so scared that he got angry. Which was really his fear of me not being well. And he was stuck in that for a good 24 hours. And he was judgemental and a little mean to me and said some hurtful things because he was afraid. And I knew I had to let it go. I could feel his fear. I knew he was lashing out because he was so afraid of me being not well. But there was no excuse for his behavior. but I couldn’t take it personally at all. And I was able to let it go and just treat him with a nonjudgmental energy. and I just put a little distance between us and didn’t hang out with him that day. Finally he worked his way through it and came to me and apologized and expressed everything that I knew he was feeling. The point is. I didn’t excuse his behavior. I didn’t tolerate it. I didn’t try to make him understand me. I just took a few steps away and focused on self-care. And thank God he too is trying to do better and he realized that he was angry because he was fearful, and that it wasn’t fair that he was taking it out on me.

It's so funny how I'm seeing this today. This afternoon I was alone and I got so frustrated so intensely and so quickly and I yelled and threw something. Then I caught myself. The feeling was still so strong. I went and got a hammer and beat an empty water jug. And I know that may have not been the best way to respond, but I did stop the impulsive unconscious reaction and consciously did something else. I'm really going through something that I'm resisting and it's ok. I'm feeling a lot pain and self-hate and I'm self-soothing with food. There's a lot to look at. I know I'll be ok. I've been in this familiar place before and I always come out better than I was before. And me being able to share this without caring about what someone is gonna think is going beyond my comfort zone. I'm going beyond and I'm expanding. Namaskar

@Kátia Castro Costa Thank you Katia!! I am noticing a LOT of stuff and wanting to run and hide from it. Feeling things so deeply both the positive and the negative. I received this poem. It helped. I'm broken, beaten down. I've crumbled. I have turned to dust. I've collapsed and given in to self-hate, sin and lust I'm reaching for the bottle, an attempt to quench my thirst For some kind of relief. If only death would take me first. I've LOST my sense of power. I've surRENdered all control. I'm no longer making choices that could save my soul. I've abandoned healing. I'm too tired to go on. I'VE lost my ambition. All my faith and hope are gone. I'm at the very bottom and yet I'm still sinking fast. I knew that all the progress I had made would never last. No matter how far up I climb. I cannot reach the top. I always slip and fall and maybe this time I'll just stop Trying to get up again. I think I'll just stay down. Someone cover me with dirt and put me underground. Self-pity is my new best friend. It's staying overnight. We won't sleep at all. We'll stay up all night long and fight Until there's no one standing. Then the sun will rise and shine And somehow all of this will pass and I will be just fine. 🤣 Namaskar Received from That which knows.

@Jennie Sikes Right!! AI isn't my spirit guide or my Higher Self. I have used AI a few times and it was fun! It made things so easy. It was so thorough and concise. And I was thrilled and then my Awareness came through so strongly. My Higher Self remind me to stay connected to Spirit and the Higher Consciousness. It was a scary feeling to think about how I could be deceived and vulnerable to relying on the wrong source. It was learning experience and I haven't use AI since. I will again sometime. I think about it and my Awareness comes through and say, "Naaa. Not now." So I listen.

@Jennie Sikes "The Source is within."💗

#10 Oh the same old same old.... I know it's not but today it sure feels like it. It's dark. It's heavy. It's suffocating. It's hopeless. And I'm off my center and sucked into and spinning in the negativity. Whew!! I'm OKAY!!! I've been here before and I've come back from this place stronger than ever. I'm trusting THAT PART OF THE PROCESS!!!