Physically, when I was pregnant with my first child, I got my concealed weapons permit. I went through another phase, where I needed the guns out of the house. All of that to say, I think it's ok if we go through different seasons at different times, that allow us to feel safe. Don't ever think because you made the choice once, you have to keep it that way forever. Now I practice and teach Buti (I think most of you know what that is, but just in case you don't, it's a somatic based movement, that incorporates traditional vinyasa, primal movement, cardio bursts, loud music, and tons of fun into a badass workout). Just moving my body in this type of way, brings about a freedom in me, that feels safe. I have had some decent self trust issues in my past, and opening myself up to this kind of practice began my healing journey back to myself. Emotionally, being honest about what I'm feeling gives me safety. (time and place of course) But having a container to do so, (like this place and some super safe friends) to let me really be ME, gives me emotional safety, and allows me to sink into that deeper trust of myself. Even if I'm not sure WHAT I'm feeling, talking to someone who knows me well, who can ask good questions that make me think, and expand my understanding of myself if a beautiful thing. Small things: being wrapped up tight in a cozy blanket having a full belly having a full tank of gas being warm pressure of my hands on my chest sunshine on my skin lights on clean counters cuddled up with my husband and children sometimes quiet to sink into my mind sometimes loud to hide in my mind not feeling rushed hugs

Just for fun, I'm an Enneagram 2 (this was the most relationship changing realization in my life) Human Design Projector (JUST learning about this! So interesting) Buti instructor for almost 5 years (Wouldn't be here without the community and movement practice) I'm on my own healing journey, and I'm never giving up. I hope this will help you on yours as well.

@Katie Ball thank you for sharing your heart, and being open and willing to guide others. you're the best, and i hope you believe it.