Let me tell you a story. Back not long ago I used to struggle to hold frame to keep my cool whenever things went wrong. Whenever I slept in, I missed the bus. I didn't have the right groceries or what have you. I would get emotional. I would get annoyed but that didn't help. That only made things worse. Let me explain why it's so important to hold frame and stay strong in situations such as this. The reason why is simply due to the fact that things happen and it is what it is. Stressing out and getting annoyed about it does not help you in any way. It only makes things 2x worse but how do we actually do this? You may be wondering. Simply what you do is you just soothe your nervous system by taking a deep breath in the moment, inhaling through the nose, out through the mouth, and making sure that your exhale is longer than the inhale. It's like you're sucking through a small straw for the exhale. That's another thing you should do and do that for as long as you need. That's what you do whenever you get in these scenarios. That's the biggest thing, the biggest tool that you have: doing a deep breath. Doing a deep breath sounds wishy-washy, I know, but this actually is effective so just keep that in mind on your healing journey. Video link

Let me tell you a story. Not long ago I thought that only the past was good. I was blinded by nostalgia and gold-tinted glasses but let me just explain why that was such a mistake. You see so many people mourn for the good old days. They mourn for just how things used to be but those people are blinded by nostalgia in gold-tinted glasses. Now what does this mean? Well simply it's to glorify the past like it was better than it actually was but they forget how the bad moments were. For instance a lot of people are nostalgic about, for example, winter 2018, just playing Fortnite with your friends and it was so chill and easygoing, laid back. You remember the awesome moments where you won the match with your boys. You're laughing, shouting, it's hype, you feel good about yourself, you get a lot of kills, you do really well, you feel great. What you forgot was how you were overthinking about how you weren't achieving your goals. You weren't doing well in school, for instance. Your family relationships were crumbling because you were just constantly at your PlayStation or Xbox. You need to keep that in mind with everything. The main point of this post is to say that right now whatever you're doing well or you're in an extreme work season, you're working very hard on building something for your future self or you're focused on your health. Maybe you're healing your trauma. That's your main focus: you're healing the inner child. All these awesome, amazing things: doing yoga, breath work, all these healing methods. You may feel like it's so uncomfortable right now and so hard but there will genuinely be a time where you look back and you really have so much more gratitude and happiness for this period of your life rather than the traditional fun times. You're playing Fortnite, for instance, with your boys and getting home from school on a cold winter day because that's just instant gratification. You will never look back and really be proud that you just grinded Fortnite with your boys for like 10 hours then you neglected your exams, your health, things of this nature.

For so long I constantly just loved hoping for a completion of whatever I was going through. If it was a Monday at work, I would just hope and obsess over Thursday because that's when I would have been off for the weekend and Friday. Whenever I was off for the weekend and Friday, that's when I would long to get back to work to get back to the same routine and that's kind of how it was. So many people relate to this, right? Let me explain why this is and what we can do about it. The reason I'm making this is that it's a lesson I learned lately. I myself have just been doing this extreme work season with the extreme relax fun season. When I've been on the extreme work season, I've longed for the extreme fun season. When I'm on the extreme fun season, I long to get back to routine, to make progress towards my goals, to succeed, and it's a never-ending cycle. I just wanted to stop and the solution I found to this simply is to add in a bit more joy, things you like authentically. Of course let them be healthy things, like, for example, going for a walk in nature or something like that, enjoying some good food or something that you can add into your life to make things sustainable. This is a lesson that will really take you forward. The last thing I'll say is just stop hoping for completion of anything in life and make things sustainable for the most part. This is something that's important in our healing journey. Video link https://www.skool.com/the-happiness-blueprint-7552

If I was to audit the last seven days of your life, would they be aligned to making future you the happiest? Would they be aligned to his goals, his fulfillment, his peace, or would they be alligned to pleasure, instant gratification, the things that make us feel good in the moment but make us feel like crap and worsen our life in the long run? If it's the second one, you need to change. Let me explain: whenever I was younger I used to just simply self-sabotage myself constantly. I would cheat on my diet. I would not be consistent at working out, anything like that. It was honestly because, if I really thought about it, a dysregulated nervous system and that was due to the fact I had trauma. Now just want to say a lesson that I've learned is really just prioritizing future you because the reason why you don't like yourself, the reason why you're not happy, it's not because of some seasonal depression, whatever nonsense that people will say. It's because simply you haven't been kind to yourself up until this point. You've been self-sabotaging yourself too much. It's that simple. Of course there are situations like losing a loved one and things of this nature that will make us unhappy for a time period. Yes that happens but the general thing is it's just because we're not being kind to future us. If you do that as much as you can, you will have a good happy life. The reason why it feels like such an uphill battle to live that way is because your nervous system is dysregulated from tons of unprocessed emotions (trauma). If you are to bring up your unprocessed emotions and feel those unprocessed emotions, do that for literally a few minutes with a method you prefer, like breath work, then you will heal your trauma. You will reach your happiness potential. Video link https://www.skool.com/the-happiness-blueprint-7552

Why are you being so hard on yourself? The truth is you're only about one year old. So far you've just got started. Let me explain. Too many people think whenever they first start healing their trauma, for instance on the first day or two, they should be at level 1000 but it doesn't work like that. Remember the games we used to play, for instance. Think of Minecraft for example. Imagine if the first day you buy the game you're excited and you think you are at the level to enchant your diamond sword to get sharpness V or whatever. That requires you to be about level 30, doesn't it? You mat get frustrated and annoyed at that but, you need to mine more coal, you need to kill the mobs, all that. That will take you probably about a few days to a week to level up as much as you want, the thing is we all start at the bottom and have to work our ways up. It's the exact same in everything else. You start and shouldn't expect to be at such a high level and get such great results so fast. Obviously it takes a lot longer than Minecraft logic as well. Just understand that to achieve these things that you want it's going to take a lot longer, cause you probably only got into this stuff one year ago, which means you are only one year old. If you're starting out in the gym, for instance, yes it will be difficult and you might be annoyed that you can't lift this weight but everyone starts somewhere. This is what it's about: showing up, progressive overload, mindset of doing more each time you go to the gym, for instance, adding on 0.25 kg or so per week on the bench press. Bro, it's the same with trauma healing: doing a little bit more every week. Whenever you're starting its fine if you can barely even do the process for about 10 second’s. You just slowly level up and get it to a solid level like a few minutes, perfect! Thats how you process your unprocessed emotion. That's what it's all about, and an important lesson I learned. Video link