In the past, I had some success but 95% is failures, again and again and again.... I was fed up with my sabotaging actions which resulted to the downside of my life. I read few books on neuro-scienece and got some points why I kept repeating those mistakes. I found I am giving the meaning the way that sees every losses a threat or danger and my mind consciences me to take whatever the action (even bad) to get out those danger situations. I never accepted the loss, first reality of the trading. I lost almost $50k+ from personal capital trading, binary(gambling) and few thousands from propfirm. I am in debt of $10k+ now with NO Jobs at all. I am trying to find one. This is the flow of the process: > I place the trade (with or without the plan) > If loss> recovering it immediately triggered. > Wanted to over levarege to trades that were never my strategy. Then up down, up down until account BLOWN. ❗At some point, I found my mind does whatever to result the that pain experience as my mind likes it. I know I am an idiot with immatureness. But something unknown stopped me again and again. I know I was or am doing the wrong which can put me to the worst phase than this but I need to change it now, yes from this moment. I feel regret, the morning feels so uninterested with no vision. I must do this and believe and have hope I can do this. How? ⬇️ > I must wait to follow my plan. > Risk management > Risk acceptance with whatever the outcome. > Accountability. > The way I view at losses. Expert's guidance is much needed. The way I see myself is winner. It never changed. Thank you.

Hi all. I've been with the Bullpen for awhile but recently took a break from trading to focus on a new job and baby! It looks like I'm back. I've been trading NQ for the past year and have started dabbling with swing trading oil.