Brigham Blackham

There can be a moment in coaching that isn’t always comfortable… …but it’s important to be honest. During a group session recently, I said something that I stand by deeply: I can’t force you to do something you’re not willing to do. So many people think they’re open. They think they’re ready. But when it comes down to it, they’re still holding onto ego, fear, or old patterns that feel safer than change. And that’s where real coaching begins. It’s not in the desire to change, but in the decision to do the work. Here’s the truth… All relationships can shift. Patterns can be broken. Pain can be released. But only if you’re willing to meet the process fully. Not halfway. Not when it’s convenient. Not just when it feels good. 100%. Because if you’re not ready to commit to that level, it won’t work. And I won’t take your money pretending it will. And neither should you. I take this work seriously. Transformation isn’t something I “sell”… it’s something you step into. And the irony? When you are truly ready… when you let go of the ego, the resistance, the stories… it becomes so much simpler than you imagined. Not always easy, but simple. It starts with a moment of truth… “I’m tired of sitting in this pain. I’m ready to do something different.” If that’s where you are, then let’s work. If not, that’s okay too. But be honest with yourself. Because honesty is where real change begins. You can check out my honesty here - https://www.instagram.com/p/DXJN_9-DO6E/

New comment 28d ago

Brigham Blackham

3 likes • Apr 15

Great point

Ed JC Smith

Apr 2 •

All Members Post Here

Live today - Masterclass for women carrying “too much”

Today is the day, … In just a few hours from now I’m going live with the Relationship Reset Masterclass for women who want to: - Understand what their nervous system is actually doing - Stop blaming themselves for “overreacting” - Start releasing resentment so they can feel like themselves again It’s completely free. If you’re there live, I’ll also stay on to answer your questions at the end. Secure your free place here 9am EST / 2pm UK See you soon

New comment Apr 3

Brigham Blackham

0 likes • Apr 3

I may have misread that and thought is said crying😭😭😭 too much… well that could still be the same person?

Brigham Blackham

0 likes • Apr 3

@Ed JC Smith that is true. Every emotion is just a drop in that ocean of experiences. Thx

Ed JC Smith

Mar 28 •

All Members Post Here

To app or not to app?

I’m seeing a lot of coaches building coaching apps right now. And I get it… Your clients having you in their corner matters. Accountability is crucial, as is your support. But I can’t shake this question… At what point does “support” quietly become dependency? If every decision you client makes runs through a coach, a prompt, or an app… Are you actually helping your client build themselves or are you conditioning them to outsource their judgment? There’s something uncomfortable here for me and I’m torn… I can’t help thinking that the more we normalize constant guidance, the less we help our clients stand on their own thinking. Coaching should be a bridge, not a crutch. The goal isn’t better answers from outside. It’s better questions from within. The consequence I grapple with is that we risk creating a generation of highly supported people who don’t trust themselves to move without permission. Curious how others think about this… Where’s the line between empowerment and dependency?

New comment Apr 13

Brigham Blackham

7 likes • Mar 28

Structure is essential. 🖼️ I fully believe that even though I am one who thrives on creativity... it is with barriers or constraints that make the creative juices flow… 🧑‍🎨🐲🧌 I don’t love people telling me what to do. But I love seeing what’s possible. Some systems feel completely oppressive… in Mandarin This is known as not ”leaving a way out”（留一個台階） When a system takes choice out of of the mix, that is when it feels like you were giving up your moral agency by blindly following it. Can coaches give too much support??? Absolutely that’s called cuddling… I mean 😬👙bra… no.( had to take a break to look up spelling…) oh yes, “Coddling“ We aren’t there a bubble wrap our clients.🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧 We are there to equip them for what is coming, and to empower them to be able to do it aren’t me? Enhancing capacity, capability and desire because they know what that future looks like through the stories we share and the frameworks that we empower them with. Is an app a good way to disseminate information? It absolutely can be, Yes. Can it become oppressive for people using it to just get their dopamine hit?… yes Don’t get me started on the Waste of time and energy so many spend on “language learning” apps like Duolingo. In my opinion 95%+ is a total waste of time. Addictive. Passive learning instead of active learning just doesn’t create results that are good. From that example, I hope you can gain clarity that if you’re not empowering others to make better choices, and establish better behaviors excellent... Your app may be just a distraction. If it is just a distraction like duolingo progress is slow and potentially completely a waste of time. You could actually creat negative results. An App is just a container. The difference between medicine and poison is in the dosage… are you helping or hindering? You will have to use your best judgement. I hope that helps!

Brigham Blackham

4 likes • Mar 29

@Jennifer Weiner thanks I have a pharmacist for a father so that kind of connection makes a lot of sense for me.

Brigham Blackham

Feb 3 •

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Opinion on promotion of my new book?…

I worked the last 14 months to compress two decades of confidence building skills in to a method that can be summarized into a sentence… Hook attention with a valuable story and package it like a gift. ~what mastery of this method does for you is generate instant confidence. If anyone in our community has ideas on best promotional practices please feel free to share them in the comments. Anyone who comments today(Feb 2-3rd 2026) I’m willing to give a free digital copy Current strategy: #1 Podcast guesting pointing hosts to send out my book.by/brigham link out with your email list. #2 valuable posts on Social media with my own podcast My last book I DMed a bunch of people 1K+ to sell a couple hundred copies so we could hit top ten in our categories but I ran out of desire to do that. Other suggestions? Story Hook Method—Endorsed by @Ed J C Smith “Brigham equips you to make every word count”-Wd J C Smith

New comment Feb 6

Ed JC Smith

Nov '25 •

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Do you always?

Do you know the two words that quietly destroy relationships? Having done thousands and thousands of hours of relationship coaching, I’ve seen these two tiny words create more distance, resentment, and disconnection than almost anything else. These two simple words seem like nothing, but underneath them is where the real damage lies. What are they? “You always.” That’s it. And why are they so damaging? Because when someone says, “you always”, it isn't about what's happening in the moment. It’s not about the specific behavior. “You always” is an attack on the person. It’s an attack on their character and their identity. You see, it's not about facts, it's about a perceived pattern. And what happens the second someone hears it is they stop listening and they go into defence mode. “You always say that…” “You always forget what I say...” “You always over react…” “You always…” “You always…” “You always...” Underneath each “you always” there's a fatigue, a tiredness, a belief that nothing can change. And the moment that your partner feels that, the connection breaks. To fix it, instead of “you always”, replace it with: “It's hard for me when this happens.” or “I feel ____ when ____ happens.” This can change everything. Instead of attacking, you're opening. Instead of building walls, you're building contact. Expressing how you feel matters… but expressing it without blame is what keeps love safe enough for change. Because if someone keeps hearing “you always,” eventually they’ll stop trying. They’ll feel boxed in, defined by your frustration instead of seen for who they are. Connection grows where blame ends.

New comment Nov '25

Brigham Blackham

12 likes • Nov '25

very actionable and meaningful way to communicate that is focusing on the challenge not calling your partner challenged.

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Brigham Blackham

@brigham-blackham-2162

International Speaker | Creator of the Story Hook Method™ Unleash your confidence! FREE DOWNLOAD: brighamb.com/3

Active 6d ago

Joined Apr 30, 2024

Grand Junction, CO