There is an assumption that someone who is healthy either has never dealt with any hardships or they have far more motivation than everyone else. We can agree that everyone deals with hardships. The harder point to argue is motivation. If you dig a little deeper, the healthier people we look up to aren’t motivated to be healthy, they are disciplined in their health journey. This applies to physical health of course, but it also applies to mental health and spiritual health too. Discipline can be attractive. It can also very easily be destructive. To butcher the words of Sam Eldredge: “Jocko Willink’s disciplined morning routine seems great, until your wife is crying in the kitchen.” That’s the moment. That’s the real discipline. Do you hide behind working out and fitness or do you engage with your wife who is having a day and it’s only breakfast. I am a runner. A trail runner. An ultra runner. I don’t run as much as the influencers or the pro athletes… but I run. I love it. It makes me feel alive. It makes me feel closer to God. It’s such a simple way of engaging with the world - the real world. No screens, no headphones, no noise but your breath and the birds. I have prayed some of my most intense prayers on a hard run. I have spent hours running next to Jesus on race day. I have worshipped God over and over as I struggle to complete a particularly hard run on a particularly hard day. I recently read that the key to ultra running is to bring your WHY to the startline. This came at a perfect moment for me. I was spiralling in comparison. Listening to pro podcasts, following athletes far more talented than me, staring at my training numbers disheartened. Runs are a great time to think, or not think. So it was on one of those runs that I realized what my WHY is. Why do I run? Why do I train for ultramarathons? Why do I commit to hour after hour of training when I could be spending that time with my wife? With my son? I run to become a better version of myself. When I run, I feel better about my physical body. I need to eat better so I don’t ruin my lungs or my shorts while running. I need to recover properly so I can do it all again tomorrow. I pay for races and hotels and gas so I can test myself… against myself. When I am running regularly, I am a better version of myself. I am disciplined in my physical pursuits. That discipline spills over into other areas of my life too. My emotional wellbeing, my pursuit of Jesus, the way I love my wife, the way I engage my son. Running makes me healthy in a holistic way. It brings me more in line with who God created me to be. I know this because despite the early mornings and long recoveries, I now have far more capacity to love.

Last June I once again stepped into the martial arts but this time it was my heart looking to stay alive as much as my body. I have 5 big WHY's behind this. I write to men on Substack. Read the full dispatch here: https://substack.com/@thundercompany/note/c-184968973 WARNING - GRAPHIC - "Marcus, You Are Never Out Of The Fight" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnUnQPEfSpM tldr: WHY #1 - I'm a warrior. WHY #2 - I'm a teacher. WHY #3 - I'm a learner. WHY #4 - I treasure my body. WHY #5 - As a man, my life is designed to be a series of rites of passage. WHY #6 - I treasure my heart.

You have an instinct as a dad, even a brand new one. Don't be afraid to trust it. You see this with new dads holding their new babies. It starts as cuddling & rocking & stroking their heads, cheeks, those tiny fingers. And that will go on for a few months. But there is an inevitable point... where dad will do something that mom will NEVER do. Dad will THROW THAT BABY! It will start small. A gentle toss, barely leaving his hands. But then a positive feedback loop will begin. The first time dad gets a hint of a smile from that little bundle (OR a panicked gasp from mom!) MARS is the next destination for that baby. THAT'S the dad difference. The WSJ wrote an article titled "Roughhousing Lessons from Dad" and highlighted research that exposed several tendencies of dads with kids. Check these out.... #1 - Walk the Line - Dads put safety 2nd. They walk a slack-line between safety and letting their kids take risks. When my second son was around 10, he wondered if our WWII army cot could function as a hang glider. TOTALLY GET IT. Sooo, I let him JUMP OFF the garden shed with this thing over his back. It was maybe a 5' drop onto the lawn. After questioning and doubting, he asked what I thought. I told him he'd be OK! Off he went. He landed it but, admittedly, a bit hard but very much uninjured.🫢 "DAD!" he cried. You promised I wouldn't get hurt!" "I'm sorry buddy! I promised you'd be OK! You're alright. Let's have a look." From the Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics in a 2011 study - Dads walk a line in play—protecting kids without removing all risk. Small scrapes teach children how to manage fear, set limits with peers, and make emotionally intelligent decisions under pressure. #2 - Player and Coach - During rough and tumble play (a key feature of whole-hearted fathering), dad's tend to play two roles. They simultaneously get in on the action, engaging in play AND they act as coach. The coach sets and enforces rules, adds elements of structure to play and calls timeouts as needed. As a player, dad elevates the level of play.