What is a trauma bond exactly, and how is it bad? When I see a healthy person, how do I expect them to understand the way I am, certain things that are difficult for me, certain things i struggle with, I have been working since last 3 years, there have been breakthroughs but somethings just too difficult to change. Healthy people it's like, They got lucky with good parents and environment and household which is not filled with tensions but is safe, where certains parts of them are not discouraged, or called bad or said and driving the wound of "there's something wrong with them" into them. They show up differently in life, they interact differently with people choose relationship differently, cause it fine for them to choose it that way. How is somebody who got trauma even pair with somebody who doesn't? What? Pls don't tell me to become healthy, you can be more healthier more whole on your own, more secure, but wounds that I have stayed, unless contradictory experience happens they won't go. How would you even interact with someone who lives life on a different plane. They don't go home, thinking they messed up here, or notice the issue that came up somewhere in the day that has its roots in the past, the self belief of playing small, or not taking up space. And the fact that working on all the issues is a month after month task and with no necessary guarantee, sometimes it does sometimes it doesn't, how long do I plan to keep going doing this? As I see people enjoy their lifes.?

After a certain point therapy/inner work just becomes astrology. This happened so you are this way and to fix it there are these methods that I have no patience to do, after 2years of just grueling work in it. Some issues no matter what I follow won't change, and the fix to everytime go inside, see where it started why it started, hasn't worked on this one, i know why when and how it started but, I cannot put the defensive mechanism down. The fear of glbeing attacked didn't go away untill i learned a answer to it, which was to learn boxing and getting some competence in it. The fear that if I get close to people I can be hurt, and have uncomfortable interactions is there and nothing can solve it.

Validation has to do with not feeling okay by nature, needing somebody else to validate your different parts, because Because of memories that says and you are convinced that they are right that there's something wrong with certain aspects of you. So try to embolden those aspects that were validated or do things that get validation by the society so as to make people accept the other parts. Validation is unsurity, if what I am is okay or right or not. Childhood memories if indicate not then, makes people who crave validation, and others who don't have memories that say theres something wrong with you, don't crave that validation. They act cause they feel that while others are affected to not upset people, cause of the belief that's there's something wrong with you, those certain parts will get emboldened, due to the mask of validation falling off. Why do I believe that there's something wrong with me? Cause I believe people, and if they say somethings wrong with me, even through looks and there's a significant no. Of them then maybe something is wrong with me. Was something wrong with galileu? Or with christ? Or with osho? I think these are just opinions based on if people can relate to my situation or not. Peoples opinion are based on howuch they can relate to me.

I think people who are unfairly(subjective) disliked become narcissist. Eg If I am training at a place, there are many training partners, and With all of them, I'm training fine, they are fine n happy, and okayness is there, and it's a good experience. But then if theres a person, they dislike me, cause of just the way I am, my personality, maybe my reservedness, when I have to train with them their energy their body language, everything they don't want me to be practicing with them, they are not talking they got dead face, I feel bad and I don't execute properly, i execute at 50% . To do the practice right I gotta care about my self over what they feel about this, there's no other way, i gotta chose narcism in there. I understand why narcissist, they just got hated and tried to do everything else n just said fuck it. And I know people relate more to the victims of narcissistic abuse, so this will trigger those.

What's the most valued thing in this world for everyone. Its not money, Money can be made Can you make a person that gets you? And how rare is to find such people. When they see you, they see you through their lense, When they hear you talk, they have their own conclusions about the subject, according to the life experience that they had.( Someone may think fear n overthinking is bad, and stop themselves, but what if you heard what fear was telling what stress was telling, and found actually they trynna help me, that person who didn't explore that won't related. Unless the other person has gone through the same things as I have, They will not be able get me always. And who's like that in this world, who completely will get you. Ultimately no one, and ultimately you. Does that make me the most valuable in the world to me. Yeah only to me. For the rest, how I benefit and offer will decide my value. However to me, my psyche, my experience, whether I can't accept this rn or not, I am the most valued person/thing/subject/object in this world to me.