@Jack Willis I have been thinking that, are my actions having adverse affects on all my relationships, with the people whom I really love. Being more present with my children and her, is making me ask, does my new found presence and philosophy drive wedges between them. From what i can tell, its has not. They all say that while it is unsettling that I do not let my emotions control me, it has made me calmer and easier to be around. She told me the other day that my calmness is becoming less unsettling and more of a strength she looks to in times of high stress. She is having health issues and my new philiosophy is what is helping her. My children ( actually grown adults ) all say they prefer this new dad. My son, is actually starting to try to learn more about how I am able to be this calm and introspective.

@Jack Willis the book of 5 ring by myimoto musshai , two te ching by lao tzu, meditations of course, so I would say a mash up to taoist, stoics and samari writing ( please excuse any misspellings)

I find that since I started studying Stoicism, I care less about what I can and cannot do. I am not stand offish but just handle what I can that is in my direct action and everything else is up to that person. I still care about other people. But I do not let it run my mouth.

I feel that I have been on this same road. The Road away from modern christianity to some new and more whole.

Skip breakfast, try to take a luke warm shower and drive to work in silence to think. If I am home I try to enjoy the silence before everyone wakes

yep, I have been feeling that way lately.