“For the most part, we are too busy doing just about everything, that means just about nothing, to just about nobody, just about anywhere…and will mean even less to anyone a hundred years from now!” ― Matthew Kelly, The Rhythm of Life: Living Everyday with Passion and Purpose (Shoutout to @Joshua Haag and @Dayna Kanouna for mentioning this book in our 'favorite books' post previoulsy) This quote hits because it exposes an uncomfortable truth.We stay busy doing things that feel urgent, productive, and necessary. But when we view it from the balcony, a lot of that busyness does not actually matter. Not deeply at least, right? Not long-term and not to the people we think it does. Busyness often becomes a distraction from asking harder questions.. (guilty)...Am I doing this because it’s meaningful, or because it fills the space? Am I spending time with these individuals because this is a good connection or because it makes me feel less alone for a short time (but maybe even more lonely and bankrupt long term)? Am I moving with intention, or just moving? Being busy can feel safer than being purposeful because purpose requires choice and choice requires clarity. Aaaand clarity asks us to let some things go. Also, sometimes it's hard to have the clarity and then we feel restless and we fill in the discomfort with staying busy...full circle. Poll: Most of your busyness right now is driven by: QUESTION to ponder: What’s one thing you stay busy with that you secretly know doesn’t matter as much as it claims to? ACTION: This week, take some time and write down how you fill your time. Identify what 'truly' matters and maybe pick one thing that doens't matter in the same way and start letting go of it. (this first week may be a tough one because a lot of people are engaging in more intentional usage of their time).c

I wanted to come and wish everyone in the Empowered community an incredible holiday season and Merry Christmas!!! And yes that's my dad and step mom hahahaha

I went iceskating yesterday and it's been years! I had the best time!! But, as I was observing others, it was interesting to see the different reactions that people had to falling, trying something new, and the overall experience. This made me think about 'failure' and giving up and how often people put themselves in smaller and smaller confinements due to not excelling at something right away. 🌱 Overcoming Failure (When “I’m Not Good at This” Makes You Want to Quit) What’s really happening:When we fail early, the brain often interprets it as evidence rather than information. Psychologically, this is fixed mindset thinking which is the belief that ability is static instead of built. Add in negativity bias (we weigh failure more heavily than success), and quitting can feel like self-protection rather than avoidance. We've talked about both of these principles in the past. Why quitting feels so tempting: -Early attempts are supposed to be awkward, but we mistake that discomfort for incompetence and apply negative labels to ourselves. -Comparison kicks in, ignoring the invisible practice behind others’ skill (this is so hard not to do when we see others--instead of feeling encouraged and inspired, we feel defeated) -Our brains crave certainty, and quitting gives fast relief from frustration (a little dopamine hit and we reinforce a cylce of avoidance--we talked about this in the past in relation to avoidance before) How to keep going anyway: **Reframe failure as data → ask “What did this teach me?” instead of “What does this say about me?” Engage from a place of curiosity! **Expect the learning curve → struggle can be a sign of growth--discomfort/growing pain is different than pain that is damaging--start learning the difference. **Decouple identity from performance → doing poorly does not mean being incapable. Start embracing "imposter syndrome"....we're all imposters when we're doing something new/something different; when we're learning **Commit to reps, not results → we improve our skill through repeated exposure...this is how confidence is built as well-->waiting for confidence to build up to take action is usually not the way to go. Do it and do it scared. :)

In reading "Thinking, Fast and Slow" one of the concepts that stood out was this idea of the experiencing self vs. the remembering self and how the ending or peak moments of a situation can create a bias about the experience as a whole which then contributes to the experiencing self making decisions that are biased and potentially problematic. It actually made me think of @Serena DAfree 's AMAZING group (dafree-community--a group about domestic violence awareness) and maybe how this principle applies to victims that continue coming back to problematic situations. The experiencing self is the you that lives moment to moment. It feels the boredom, the joy, the discomfort, the calm. It exists only in the present. The remembering self is the storyteller. It looks back, edits aggressively, keeps the highlights and the emotional spikes, and then decides what something “was like.” This is the self that answers questions like “Was that trip worth it?” or “Was that relationship good for me?” (To apply it to poor relationships/bad jobs/chaotic dynamics--The experiencing self remembers the stress, the anxiety, the walking-on-eggshells feeling. It knows the situation feels bad while it’s happening. The remembering self, however, edits the footage. It keeps the intense highs, the relief after conflict, the rare good moments, and conveniently blurs the long stretches of discomfort. Then it tells a story like, “It wasn’t that bad,” or “But when it was good, it was really good.” So people go back. Again and again.Not because the situation feels good overall, but because the ending or the peak moments stand out. Your brain weighs the apology, the reunion, the occasional validation more heavily than the daily emotional tax) Most of our decisions are made to satisfy the remembering self, not the experiencing one. That’s why we endure miserable commutes for status, stay in relationships that look good on paper, and chase peak moments instead of daily well-being. The remembering self loves a good story. The experiencing self just wants fewer bad moments.

I tell myself that I love a good challenge--and this is true if it's in an area where I feel either competent or excited about or both! But is it less true if those factors don't exist? Maybe. How much of a challenge is it really if it's still kind of in my comfort zone? Many people wait to feel ready before they take on something difficult. But readiness is usually the reward we get after doing the hard thing, not before. Challenges stretch our minds, expand our emotional bandwidth, and reshape our brains for the better. 🧠 Here comes the nerdy stuff!! I love it so much though: What's at work? 1. Prefrontal Cortex: This part of the brain supports planning, decision making and emotional regulation. Hard tasks strengthen this region, improving self control and long term thinking. Executive functioning skills here we come! 2. Anterior mid Cingulate Cortex: This region is activated when we face conflict, discomfort or uncertainty. It helps ups with building cognitive flexibility and grit. It helps us survive! 3. Hippocampus: Challenges promote neuroplasticity which supports learning, memory and resilience. Pushing your limits in manageable doses helps this area 4. Dopamine System: Completing difficult tasks triggers reward pathways. This builds confidence, motivation and a sense of mastery. It reinforces the message that you can do hard things and survive. And who doesn't want a little dopamine hit here and there? Taking on challenges creates internal shifts like learning we can handle discomfort, our ability to tolerate uncertainty increases, we build a sense of self trust, we start believing that we are capable, we become less reactive under pressure and stress becomes more like information rather than danger. ⚡ Why It Matters A life without challenge feels safe, but it also keeps us small and not growing. A life with challenge feels uncomfortable but we end up growing and helping ourselves down the line. We do not grow by staying within the edges of what you already know, but rather by stepping into a level of difficulty that activates your brain, stretches your identity and builds capacity you did not know you had. :) Pretty cool stuff, right? :) :)