help each others to become W https://docs.google.com/document/d/163q5jGo3RfzjHwaMXtKF5t3xngFR55xUg21pt4vIy_o/edit?tab=t.0

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NaVjqjziRQKnZYxistF1_khrvAPAD9ed-s1zlxFKG-I/edit?usp=sharing this is my first time posting an email for reviews. its up to you guys.

i've been writing a lot of letter and i recognised myself that my CTA is not good enough and ive tried to make it better. but it couldnt be done

👉 The Copy: Here's a fitness sales page headline from a 4D student. Let's take a look at what they made: - For skinny weak men, with low confidence - How you can gain 1kg of muscle per month. With The Build To Last Protocol 🧬 - Without force-feeding yourself to grow. Now before I tear up this headline to shreds, if you want regular 1-on-1 reviews just for you feel free to send me a direct message here on Skool with "SHRED" Let's continue... 👉 The Review: Ok, first of all, get that emoji out of the headline lmao. Second, let's start with the first line: "For skinny weak men with low confidence" ... NOBODY wants to identify themselves subconciously as skinny, weak, and low confidence. So most likely that's gonna hurt you. Instead, talk about something that won't hurt their ego that they are struggling with. Ex. hard-gainers, packing on muscle, etc. Now the main headline: "How you can gain 1kg of muscle per month. With The Build To Last Protocol" - What is the "Build to last protocol"??? That sounds like a B.S. unique mechanism, or a program name. I wouldn't include that in this specific headline. - Change from "How you" to "How I" or "How they" - Add some more spice. Now the last bit: "Without force-feeding yourself to grow" That works, it's not as big of a deal as the other parts of the headline, but there's still room for improvement. Here's the updated headline 👇 - Struggling to fill out your frame? - How I Pack On 1 KG Of Muscle Per Month With A "Skinny" Protocol - Sustainably bulk up without adding fat (even if you're a hard-gainer) See ya'll next week!

👉 The Copy: Yet another headline from a bootcamp student. Here it is (context: the avatar is fitness coaches): --------------------------------------------------- Fitness coaches, who struggle to grow their business... The ‘’ACCAL’’ Method That Online Coaches Use To Scale To 10k/mo In 3 Months, While Working Only 2 Hours A Day. Without cold DMs, paid ads, or complicated funnels. Even if you’re starting from scratch. --------------------------------------------------- .......Alright, somebody help this man's copy. 👉 The Review: First of all, this seems like every single other biz-op headline I've seen in my life. There's nothing that makes it stand out. Also, the ACCAL method is a very confusing acronym. That is not how you do a unique mechanism. A unique mechanism is something that you're familiar with, so you understand it and there's no confusion, but at the same time, it's also intriguing. You want to read more to find out what this mechanism is. Compared to the ACCAL method, which just causes confusion rather than intrigue. Next thing is, you speak about scaling to 10K in 3 months while only working 2 hours a day. I would question who your target avatar actually is, because this is going to speak to the least qualified, most broke part of the market. On top of that, it's also going to speak to people who don't want to work that hard. And as we all know, results come from hard work. So it's probably not going to speak to the right person. Next up, in the eyebrow copy, "fitness coaches who struggle to grow their business," we can get 10x more specific with what they're actually struggling with. What specifically in their business is causing them problems? Could it be that they don't have enough clients, or they can't fulfill for all those clients, or that they're not getting enough views in their content, etc.? Overall, to fix your headline, think through the lens of knowing who you're actually speaking to, knowing who your ideal client is. And second of all, assuming that they have already seen every other fitness coaching headline on the planet. That's going to force you to make your headline more unique. And if you don't know what the messaging of the market is, you need to do more competitor research.