I've discovered a pattern within myself that I believe a lot of us are struggling with, even if you don't know it yet. This post is about limerence: Limerence is an: obsessive compulsive engagement in unrealistic fantasies toward someone else. These feelings are pleasant to have. They feel like love. However, the problem is that you are less likely to successfully build a relationship with your limerent object (the person you are obsessed with) due to being more interested in the fantasy than the real person. love leads to action. limerence leads to inaction or self sabotage due to fear of rejection that would destroy the pleasant fantasy. ps. This post is about goal making not love making🙃 I've discovered that my grandiose goals were not real goals that I moved towards. Just like my limerence was not real love, it just felt good to fantasize about. If the fantasy gets you more dopamine than the pursuit, then all you will do is fantasize. For example, I would spend hours fantasizing about what I would buy if I was rich, what the best private jet was, and how expensive luxury watches were. Finding the answer to these stupid questions was how I got my dopamine fix. That's why I never got closer to my dreams. That's why I was never motivated. I would just engage in fantasy for 3 hours, get my dopamine fix, and then I would do nothing to make it a reality and wonder why I couldn't do anything, even though I claimed I really wanted to. This is a recipe for The Big Sad. The solution is to make a good goal... You might say, "I want to be famous." But if you dig deep down by asking "why" a few times, the answer could be "to feel loved" For that person, their real goal was to feel loved, not be famous. acknowledge that and follow your true goal it's much more achievable that way because you will be more motivated "I want to be rich." do you though? do you want to see big numbers on your banking app? or do you want the lifestyle? and the financial security. Think about the specific emotions you want your goals to give you. What specific change will it have on your day-to-day life if it were to happen? and why? what is the benefit?