Tonight I would like to ask you… what is the biggest “what if” in your mind right now? ❤️

WOULD YOU RATHER… Get the hiccups every time you have to be serious?!👀 OR Do a five second burp every time someone compliments you?!🤣

WOULD YOU RATHER… Always have bad gas 💨 OR Always have a really dry mouth 🌵

Thanksgiving already! I'm already emotional. (To be fair I've been all over the place since Mom died.) It'll be the first without my mom and just last month was her first birthday since her death. I feel like I can't do this. It'll be just my husband and kids this year. We're not up to hosting and I don't want to go anywhere. No one has been here since the funeral and that was early June! I don't want anyone to stop by but I want everyone to stop by. This song makes me smile even when I'm feeling down.

So as you guys know, I have my struggles… my diagnosis is a generalised anxiety disorder and “extreme Hypochondria” both of which I have struggled with since the age of about 7. I like to think I’m quite a smart guy but when it comes to my hypochondria there is no reasoning with my brain, a common cold turns into pneumonia in my head… then the thoughts come, the terrible, awful, depressing thoughts. Me on a ventilator, my little girls watching me in the hospital bed as I struggle to even cry as I slowly slip off into the darkness… I have these thoughts regularly. It’s hard to stay positive sometimes when all my brain is trying to do is convince me that I am dying over any symptom I may or may not have… The hardest part of all of this is that, men don’t cry… my babies should not see their daddy weak, the thought of keeva or ivy seeing me in my darkest moments is heart breaking and something I have always been able to hide from them. One day the inevitable will come and they will see me break, they will see me pull over the car and have that panic attack on the side of the road and do you know what? When they do see it… I will use it as an advantage, I will teach them about mental health and use it as a positive. My daughters will never be afraid of their own minds because daddy will tell them how to use their minds to protect themselves. I’ve always thought that people who struggle with mental and physical illnesses were chosen by god… because we are strong enough to endure them! God chose me, a warrior, to cope with this illness because someone else might not of been able to. I love you guys so much and having you here cures a part of me. Thank you for being you, I will forever look out for you and never see harm come your way. Thank you❤️