Hi moms, Every child I work with loves their own ideas more than anyone else’s. They also love their routines, and they will protect them at all costs. It is easy to get trapped in a cycle. We honor the request to avoid a meltdown, and that decision slowly teaches them that strong control works. Over time it can spread to school, games with peers, chores, and daily plans. Then the tantrums get bigger, because real life will not let them control everything to the letter. That is usually the point when families start working with me. Here are the 3 main steps I use. 1. Balance their ideas with your requests Kids have wonderful imaginations, and I want them to know that. So I use both kinds of phrases. “I love your idea. Let’s do it.” And also, “Oh, you have a different idea from the one I had in my head. Let’s do our letters first, and then we can do your idea.” This keeps their creativity, while still showing them that someone else’s plan can happen too. 2. Slow the pace Some kids reach a point where they touch a toy for a second and then leave it. That is often more about impulsivity and the urge to move on than about not liking the toy. I like to pause and say, “Oh wait, I see something out of place,” and then we clean it up together. That small reset adds structure and a little flexibility without turning play into a lecture. 3. Add short, structured games I use simple turn taking games, or competitive games that I shorten so they are easy to finish and move on from. The goal is practice waiting, handling a surprise, and not winning every time. I also use dramatic, funny phrases like, “Oh no! I was not expecting that.” Kids often copy those phrases later when something unexpected or disappointing happens, which gives them a lighter way to handle the moment. The goal is not to shut down their ideas. The goal is to keep their ideas, and still teach them that other people, other plans, and small changes can be part of the day too. Does your child try to control games, routines, or what everyone else says?