Al salaam aleyikum girlies. How have you all been? Something I have been aware of is the double standard of holding men accountable and making sure they're well vetted, but we do ot hold ourselves to the same standards. I always try my best to check myself, and I've just had a session with myself that I haven't had in a while. I learned that there are some things I need to address that I had not before, considering this time I based it off of my self-made questions rather than those templates online. It is really interesting when suddenly your question is turned against you, and some things you have noticed or are nagging at you suddenly become that exposed. Because let us be real, we would have so much grace for ourselves because we know ourselves in comparison to the men if they gave similar answers. Not that everything should be taken leniently, but we definitely need to know what is a hard stop, as MM said and what can be given grace when having a sit-down. That same energy should also be thrown right back at ourselves regardless of whether we met the hard stops or not. If we haven't, why haven't we? What are we doing to get there? And is not meeting them a sign to pause and do inner work before we find ourselves in a bad situation because of our own actions? So I will sit down with myself again and keep looking into it because, as of now, I know what I am not meeting and need to get into more detail about it and what needs to be immediately addressed and worked on. Just thought I would share this update with you; maybe it could be food for thought. As MM said, we need to find those blind spots because dealing with them without a partner is much more graceful, tbh and saves us a lot of hassle.