Losing a loved one who has been a key part of your family is so hard. People will often say 'give it time' and I often want to say, 'Well, thanks, but I'm in such pain right now that time has been suspended and I don't feel any better and it's been (days, weeks, months) now.' The bigger part of your family the person was the bigger the hole feels that is left. So, how do you deal with all of the thoughts, emotions, and questions that overwhelm you in a time of loss and grief? Here's some things I have learned along the way having lost family members as well as every client/patient that I have had the privilege to serve. In a society that doesn't like to discuss death and grief, allow yourself to grieve and acknowledge its reality. Don't try to stop yourself from 'feeling' your way through the days and weeks ahead. If you try to stuff it or ignore it, it will come back again at a future time when some future event triggers that flood of emotion. Keep talking. Talk about your loved one, remember all the good things and even be willing to admit there were not so good things. No one is perfect and in keeping a balanced view of who our loved one was, how they lived their life, the impact they had on others, it helps to stay in touch with reality at a time when it feels like reality is too painful and overbearing to handle. Get outside. Go for a walk, go ride a bike, go to one of your favorite places. Just go. Take an action that isn't huge but something that gets your body moving. Physical movement and exercise helps to clear and calm your whole body - including your brain. And, it let's your mental focus become unfocused(it lets your conscious mind take a break and let's your subconscious mind take over without you having to do the 'work' of thinking). Put a memory book/video together with pictures, cards, mementos, and other special items or writings so you capture those key moments that are part of your memory of the person, what your current experience is and (this I believe is key) how having that person in your life helped to shape you and how you plan to honor your loved one in how you live your life going forward.

Knowing there is a loved one who may need...or does need...your support and assistance, when does it hit you? Is there a particular time or moment that your subconscious thoughts become conscious?

Let's say "hi" to our newest member - @Jeremy Miller If you’re caring for an aging parent or loved one—and feeling unsure what to do or where to turn—you’re in the right place. The Family Care Compass exists to be a place where: > you can share common experiences, > learn what steps to take, > navigate care decisions with confidence, > find those surprising and unique tips, and > to make sure you have a chance to laugh and relax in a supportive environment. You don’t need to have all the answers. You don’t even need to know the right questions yet. This community is here to help you find your direction—one step at a time. While we all share many things in common as we care for our older loved ones, each situation is unique and deserves special attention. So, to get started, please share a bit about you -- 🌎Where is your favorite vacation spot? 🍿What is your favorite movie? 😎What is your favorite emoji? Again, welcome!! Looking forward to sharing ideas, experiences and thoughts with you!